Couple months ago I met a woman who works at a dispensary I visit about once a week. We hit it off really well. Despite trying to just keep it casual sex, and that only, I ended up developing some feelings for her. She confessed the same to me. I even introduced her to my teenaged daughter, for fucks sake.
I ran into her this evening at a gas station, with another guy, who turns out to be her husband. They’ve been married five years, and have two children together, ages 4 and 2. Finding out they have kids just made me feel disgusting.
So, I told him. He didnt believe me until I described a tattoo in a somewhat intimate place on her body. I had no fucking clue she was married. I think I ruined someone’s marriage. Or at least took part in ruining one.
I feel guilty. I am sorry for what I participated in. Am I a bad person?
You didn’t know and immediately did the right thing upon learning. You were lied to by omission, it’s not a normalized thing to ask “are you in an exclusive relationship?”. The cheater ruined the marriage, not you.
That conversation ranks up there with one of the more difficult ones I’ve ever had to approach a stranger for. Had she not made such a big deal about me not talking to him when I was first approaching, it probably wouldn’t have gotten his attention and I might not have followed thru with it.
Acting guilty instead of playing it cool definitely dug some of that hole. I can’t really imagine, but I certainly believe you in that it must have been incredibly difficult.