I see a cave in the distance. The witch told me not to go in it, "it's completely avoidable, you just s-" she was talking, but I wasn't listening, because I am a man who makes my own destiny. Women are to be ignored. I descend sturdily down into the cave, spreading open its welcoming darkness with the light of intellect and reason, where I see figures dancing on the wall. I pull my chains out of my backpack and stalwartly, masculine-ly strap myself in. These shadows are really hot, I think to myself.

Some days later I lose all sense of what a woman looked like. These are my wives now. I have ascended. I smile in complete darkness, dick in hand,