The kid and wife thing is hard. I'm not gonna pretend that there is an easy solution to that.

I feel more alienated from those around me

I gotta say, as I've grown and discarded bad habits (slurs, misogyny, animal abuse, transphobia, social chauvanism, etc), I've always lost people who couldn't grow with me. And it's always been tough and painful. But I always end up meeting newer people that vibe with my new wavelength, and the relationship ends up being much more satisfying than the old "hey let's go to the pub" or "hey let's do brunch" friendship that got left behind. It's a cliche, but do join an org if you can.