We had some concerning conversations - they explicitly declared they wouldn't commit theft to save anyone's life, and intimated that fascism is just like socialism, "they're both bad extremes". We've always disagreed on politics and they've always had some common lib views, but they've always (at least 'til now) claimed to be vaguely leftist and understanding of my commie stance.
This has somewhat thrown me, honestly. I'm always open about my disagreements, but don't pursue argument (if anything, they do more than I), but these opinions just came out unprompted.
I fully accept that partners may have different politics (not directly harmful/malicious obviously), the world is complicated. My partner has always been a very kind, intelligent and thoughtful person who has helped me through tough times.
But there are a couple points that really do worry me:
- Either they've taken an unstated swing to the right in their politics or been hiding these scary views a long time.
- I know it's a hypothetical, which are often stupid for relationships, but fucking really? They wouldn't commit petty theft to save my life because the rules are important? They very explicitly clarified that, and this genuinely does make me feel kind of unsafe/uncared for.
I dunno. I dunno what my deal is or what I'm aiming for, I could be overreacting. I'm just venting my concerned thoughts at this stage. Mightily frustrated.
I'll hand in my propagandist license for a start.
I'm sorry to hear that... one of my requirements from my now fiancé was having similar political views. She may not read theory, but she's at least sympathetic towards AES and despises liberals, so we have the important areas covered. Made dating far more difficult, but I struck gold eventually.
If I were you, I'd have a good, long, serious discussion about values. Try to see where they are coming from and see if you can use that to help them remove some of their problematic views.
Thank you for the empathy. I suspect your approach of a proper chat makes the most sense, in reality.
Thinking about how low my life seems to come in their priority order makes me not want to bother with this shit. But I'll properly consider things when I've re-chilled a bit more.
I understand that, I just know that a long-term relationship isn't something easy to break off. If you can make them see just how bad that makes you feel and explain that civility is pointless, that you'd do xyz for them yet they won't return the favor, then there's still hope IMO.