We had some concerning conversations - they explicitly declared they wouldn't commit theft to save anyone's life, and intimated that fascism is just like socialism, "they're both bad extremes". We've always disagreed on politics and they've always had some common lib views, but they've always (at least 'til now) claimed to be vaguely leftist and understanding of my commie stance.
This has somewhat thrown me, honestly. I'm always open about my disagreements, but don't pursue argument (if anything, they do more than I), but these opinions just came out unprompted.
I fully accept that partners may have different politics (not directly harmful/malicious obviously), the world is complicated. My partner has always been a very kind, intelligent and thoughtful person who has helped me through tough times.
But there are a couple points that really do worry me:
- Either they've taken an unstated swing to the right in their politics or been hiding these scary views a long time.
- I know it's a hypothetical, which are often stupid for relationships, but fucking really? They wouldn't commit petty theft to save my life because the rules are important? They very explicitly clarified that, and this genuinely does make me feel kind of unsafe/uncared for.
I dunno. I dunno what my deal is or what I'm aiming for, I could be overreacting. I'm just venting my concerned thoughts at this stage. Mightily frustrated.
I'll hand in my propagandist license for a start.
They wouldn't commit petty theft to save my life
Ignoring the other stuff that's pretty bad
I would not trust someone like that to not turn me over to the nazis
Wtf? I'd help my partner dispose of a fucking body, no questions asked. Stealing is nothing, I'll steal from a corporation just for fun.
I'm sorry to hear that... one of my requirements from my now fiancé was having similar political views. She may not read theory, but she's at least sympathetic towards AES and despises liberals, so we have the important areas covered. Made dating far more difficult, but I struck gold eventually.
If I were you, I'd have a good, long, serious discussion about values. Try to see where they are coming from and see if you can use that to help them remove some of their problematic views.
Thank you for the empathy. I suspect your approach of a proper chat makes the most sense, in reality.
Thinking about how low my life seems to come in their priority order makes me not want to bother with this shit. But I'll properly consider things when I've re-chilled a bit more.
I understand that, I just know that a long-term relationship isn't something easy to break off. If you can make them see just how bad that makes you feel and explain that civility is pointless, that you'd do xyz for them yet they won't return the favor, then there's still hope IMO.
intimated that fascism is just like socialism, “they’re both bad extremes”
This is a really common view, if you did a survey
Absolutely true. And the view itself isn't my real issue honestly, I know it usually stems from a lack of understanding. But for for it come out the blue and contradict what they've said to me over multiple years makes me feel kinda hoodwinked.
The antidote is –
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The person needs to understand that status quo bias is a thing. What is 'extremism'? It's basically just 'that which differs from the status quo'. If you're in a certain period of history and you say "gladiatorial games should be outlawed" or "it's ok to touch dalits", those are extreme views. We now live in a day and age where "it's ok to kill 100,000 Palestinians using thirst, hunger, bombs, and disease" is a moderate, centrist view.
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Then the idea that "communism killed 100 million people" or whatever, which is what makes communism seem extremist. A) you can chip away at the truth of it, because it's not true, but more important is B) there is no alternative which hasn't killed tens of millions of people. Economic systems kill to protect their existence. The British Empire killed 100 million in just one country (India) in just 40 years (1880 to 1920)
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I saw my ex's account as a like on an Instagram post that was quite Zionist.
It honestly made me feel way more at peace from a "moving on" perspective because I was in tears over her.
You're gonna have to mk-ultra your partner.
Kidding! Kidding! But not really.
Look at the sort of slop they like and find left leaning equivalents to partake of with them. You need to hijack their echo chamber, basically. Because, if you expect people to hold compassionate views in a world where the hegemonic culture is 24/7 telling them to keep their head down, follow the rules, and only look out for themselves... You're gonna be disappointed. I know I am.
You're undoubtedly right that it comes down to engaging on their slop-level. Certainly disappointed, I really did expect them to think these things through a bit more and at least have a better general understanding.
