After a period of extended unemployment and you know, ‘hitting the gym’ due to not having much else to do, I’ve decided to pursue this hobby of violence that seems to attract far too many chuds. I’m hoping it’ll give me a thin veneer of confidence and security, and an ability to fend off fucking assholes with my bare fists 
In all seriousness, how do I become a better fighter, I truly suck at this. Any of you fight for fun? Practice a martial art, boxing, wrestling? What’s your opinion on the sport?
I did judo as a kid (up to about age 14) at competition level - I'd like to go back to it some day. I also played rugby in that time til I was about 19. All in all I'm not an absolute weapon but I am a total pain in the ass to take to the floor by an average person. I will never forget the innate balance and understanding of the balance of others from my time doing judo. And rugby for getting used to adrenalin fuelled situations. It all just feels calm. When I grapple for fun with people, I seriously feel like time slows down, and I can spot when someones foot is out of place like some kind of quick time event.
The combination of the two sports makes me very confident that if three people had to stop me getting from point A to point B, unless they were all trained athletes, I'm getting to point B no problem.
I got better at both sports by watching videos/listening to advice, and then actively applying the advice week in week out at training. Very simple. Do something lots of times, with an aim to get better each time. Focus on an aspect of your game until it's levelled up. Repeat.