Went to an mma gym about 10 hours a week for 8 years, then spent a few years as a private trainer before eventually just freely training anyone willing to listen so I could have sparring partners (am lonely). I'm not much of a grappler, and realistically only know enough to out-grapple a beginner bjj practitioner. I sunk my sweaty painful hours into muay thai, had a few fights, and without exaggeration can make a surgical theater show of your average goon. Training in it was easily the best thing that ever happened to me. The confidence is the obvious benefit, but the peace and capacity for deeper self-understanding and critique that comes from developing your theory and praxis of fighting serves me in all other ways, especially socially. Now that I think about it, I wonder if I could have overcome the reflexive liberal mental defensiveness to become a Marxist-leninist if I hadn't first spent years being honest with myself about why I got my ass kicked this or that time.

That's the key, by the way. Obviously there's no one secret to success in this stuff but if I had to give mine it would be: you have to get your ass kicked a lot. You have to get your ass kicked so many times that getting your ass kicked ceases to hold any fear or meaning, and then once you're over that, you're free to learn how to calmly engage with a fight for the dialectical puzzle box it is. It's a lot of grinding but with very noticeable milestones, and my one of m biggest "I feel like I just leveled up" moments was when I just...stopped being afraid of being punched in the face after being punched in the face so many times. Another was when I got so locked in to the movements and reactions of my opponent during sparring, that I had so conditioned him with a curated regimen of real and feinted attacks, that I was actually full-on puppeting him. There's no more humble way for me to put it, the way I moved my hands and the micro-reactions it elicited, the shifting of weight where I wanted to to go, felt exactly like operating a marionette. It felt unbelievable, I felt like a spider. I know it might sound unbelievable too, but shit gets psychologically intense in those moments, and for the first time I truly understood what the books and trainers were saying about tempo: the idea that all other things being equal, the one who controls the pace of the fight will win.

I could go on and on in a kind of unstructured ramble, it's a huge topic and it's been a huge part of my life, but for that reason it's all sprawling in my mind. Anyone feel free to ask my anything about kickboxing, from the general down to the very granular and technical, and I'll do my best to answer.

This is my shit

I did this stuff actively for a long time and enjoyed the focus parts and skill parts of it. Am fairly competitive so did a few competitions as well and enjoyed it. It was also good for my physical self-esteem, but that I feel could have come from any sport I like. The actual physical stuff can be pretty fun and challenging. I think it's a bit of a neurospicy catnip that kept me humming pretty well in everyday life.

But, the people doing these sports were often not the best people, at least not where I am from. Cops, violent men, misogony and just all that. I participated in these sports as a woman and it always took me twice as much effort to get the belts or whatever "the boys" got very easily. I was also ostriciced a lot due to my gender.

There was lots of stanning for Japan and a lot of the sort of weird male hierarchy that felt very uncomfortable. Eventually I quit and just instructed fitness boxing for others, just as a sport for all kinds of people, genders and bodies.

I sometimes miss the actual sports, but not the clubs and people. I still practice at home and do some online martial arts combat classes sometimes, but just for covid alone I would not go back to doing this face to face anymore.

I took boxing for three years, it’s loads of fun. Stick out the first two weeks and you’ll be addicted, and have a lifelong confidence boost.

I've had a lot of experience. I used to like to scrap a little consensually though. I'd end up with a fat lip and a lot of laughs. Any striking art will be good. The better ones are boxing, muay Thai, and wing chun. As far as grappling, you're going to be suggested bjj. That's a mistake. Bjj is really good at fighting one guy on the ground. You mentioned that you want it for self defense. If you're fighting someone on the ground what are the chances chuds friend is jumping in? What you really want is something that will give you good defense against takedowns. Wrestling and judo are good choices. If I had to focus on one, I'd go muay Thai. If I wanted to go for fun, judo or boxing. Finding a few friends that want to throw each other around in a park, is a blast. Likewise, beating each other up in a gym is tons of fun too. If you find a really good school, you'll realize how much a street fight is about luck, but you'll be in better shape, and at some point you'll start to feel like a shark. It's a cool feeling. Good luck

One time I punched a kid in the nose when I was like 6. Does that count?

i have a passing interest but i haven't really gotten into it yet because of depression and life stuff. it's definitely something I would encourage as a leftist if you have the capacity. if you're lucky and there's a left wing fighting gym in your area that's the best bet, at the "regular" ones you're fairly likely to run into right wing nutjobs/bigots unfortunately. wrt which one to choose, BJJ seems very practical and unlikely to give you a head injury just from sparring etc. if you do something like boxing you will sustain head injuries from sparring which is a concern. there is no avoiding it in a striking sport. obviously being able to throw a punch is still very appealing but i would personally stick to the heavy bag in that department to save what's left of my brain cells.

Look at what's actually available to you in your area, then narrow down options by affordability. From there, start visiting gyms. Most good gyms are fine letting people sit in on a class to get a vibe for the place, and if they aren't then that's a red flag imo. Whichever place seems to have the best environment for you is the best pick, because if you hate going or hate the people, you won't keep going and you won't learn.

Wrestling and boxing are a straightforward and reliable combo. Boxing is widely available (even if you live in the middle of nowhere, there's decent chance there's still a boxing gym), and wrestling is available in many schools and increasingly available to people out of school with the popularity of MMA.

If you are able to get both, I personally would recommend training wrestling a bit harder than the boxing, both because you can go at a higher intensity without concussions (although sometimes collisions still happen), and because wrestling controls where a fight takes place (standing, on the ground, etc.).

One (the only?) useful thing you actually can practice on your own: standing up quickly. Look up "BJJ technical standup", and practice getting up off the ground as quickly as possible. This won't teach you how to get up from under people pinning you, but if you get knocked over or trip, it could make a huge difference being able to stand up before they get on top of you or stomp you.

Everything else you need sparring partners to do shit with, or it won't really help. If you look around you might see stories about high level pros who "don't spar", but those are misleading clickbait -- those guys already did all the sparring they needed and now they're cutting it out to save brain-cells and extend careers. You still have to spar to develop the sense of distance management, stress, and not freaking out when you get hit in the face.

Also, if you'd like a bit of non-chud martial arts slop for fun, consider checking out Jack Slack (who just did a cool video on the Mir lock, in the context of Jon Jones' infamous standing shoulder crank) and Heavy Hands (general fight breakdowns and predictions for UFC cards, sometimes they talk boxing specifically) on youtube.

OK. So I have several years experience. started in wrestling and judo for several years. Then did BJJ, boxing and muay thai for 7 years.

The basics are really boxing and wrestling. I include Judo as jacketed wrestling in this. They will be cheaper and more realistic than BJJ or Muay thai. After all these years of BJJ, the submissions in Judo are still the most common (RNC, Gi chokes, bent and straight armbars, and pins and escapes) both in MMA and in street altercations.

The basic 4 punches are also the most encountered and easy to use in mixed footing. In a street encounter if you are forced to fight, you may not have room to kick. And honestly, you won't have the time to "cook" anyone on the ground BJJ style.

Your number 1 priority is to escape, run away and live. If you have to fight, run away if you have an avenue. If you are unable to escape, throw the guy on the ground and run. If you fall or are taken down, get up off the ground (pin escapes) and run. If you have to strike, footwork, the old 1-2 and run...

I can talk about MMA all day since I trained it for so long and have trained with so many ammy and mma fighters.

Bang for the buck techniques:

Striking: Jab, Cross,

Takedowns: Double leg, Body clinch

Escapes: Wrestling Stand up, BJJ technical stand up, Mount escapes, Side control escapes

Submissions: RNC, Guillotine, head and arm triangle (All can be done from standing)****

Nobody taps to joint locks in a real fight, they barely tap in MMA honestly. Chokes only..

If you have the time, I recommend the Southpaw podcast and program. They have a "Liberation Martial Arts" program that is made to facilitate group study without having to depend on an instructor. Most MMA and martial arts gyms are right wing both in atmosphere and philosophy, so the idea is to create a space that isn't hostile to leftists. And the creator is/was a BJJ instructor (black belt) and a Socialist.

The spirit is a lot better than in team-based sports when you don't actively enjoy toxic masculine shit. You can have a little power fantasy as a treat because you're doing the punching and stuff but you're not in a misogynistic boys club that peer pressure you to drink 3 liters of beer after training.

At least in my experience, feel free to share if you had a different experience

Most martial arts is not fighting, it's dance class.

I did judo as a kid (up to about age 14) at competition level - I'd like to go back to it some day. I also played rugby in that time til I was about 19. All in all I'm not an absolute weapon but I am a total pain in the ass to take to the floor by an average person. I will never forget the innate balance and understanding of the balance of others from my time doing judo. And rugby for getting used to adrenalin fuelled situations. It all just feels calm. When I grapple for fun with people, I seriously feel like time slows down, and I can spot when someones foot is out of place like some kind of quick time event.

The combination of the two sports makes me very confident that if three people had to stop me getting from point A to point B, unless they were all trained athletes, I'm getting to point B no problem.

I got better at both sports by watching videos/listening to advice, and then actively applying the advice week in week out at training. Very simple. Do something lots of times, with an aim to get better each time. Focus on an aspect of your game until it's levelled up. Repeat.