No job prospects. The work I do to support myself is come and go, and im probably gonna miss rent again. The older I get, the less friends it seems I have. None of my hobbies/passions excite me right now and just feel like a pain in the dick when I think about doing them. Every day is the same goddamn routine unless I go stay at my partners place.
It's cold and I hate going out in the cold, so that just compounds stuff further. Everything is dead outside. I'm tired, im always so tired. I can never get enough sleep no matter how much I actually get.
Feels like I'm just existing and I hate it.
Going back into therapy and doing medication might have saved my life. I don't 100% know if I would be here rn otherwise. I get that some people have bad experiences with therapy, and people have very real problems that can't be solved by therapy, but what else are you supposed to do? Just curl up and die?
eventually trying becomes too painful. i did what you're supposed to do over a dozen times and it never helped because the causes are never addressed.
I'm sorry to hear that