I have schizoaffective disorder which comes with such lovely features as psychosis, which is a physical symptom that causes it to be difficult for me to distinguish between reality and fantastical things my brain makes up. (or other people's brains think up for that matter) Often I have difficulty even recognizing the thing isn't real, simply assuming it's part of the real world other people are used to, ignoring, or unaware of.

The experience I want to talk about is with ghosts. I don't think belief in ghosts is a very Materialist belief, but my experiences with them have been real enough that I don't think it matters that much. One prevalent ghost is that of a cousin of mine. I never met her, all I know is that she fell victim to suicide very shortly before I was born. I think that's partly why my mom has been more supportive of me through my mental illness journey, so in a way her shadow has affected my whole life. But in more recent years, I've noticed when suicidal thoughts creep in, she appears and will just sit with me. She doesn't say much other than to assure me she doesn't condemn me for my feelings. She just sits there with me through it. Having someone who has experienced the feelings I'm having sitting with me through them is a comforting feeling.

I'm not sure why I felt the need to post this. Maybe to just give some insight into the psychotic experience? Maybe to show not all psychotic encounters are negative? Maybe I just wanted to vent about it. In any case, take this as you will.