I hate venting really but I've been kinda struggling these past few months (with some long periods of meh and downs since around 2021)
I'm more sad, angry and stressed in general these past few days. The whole student anti governmental thing here smells of color revolution. So my first year of college sure has been something. I hate myself for being somewhat a part of It. The situation here is kind of similar like in Syria except the violence and civil war to make It short. Where both sides kind of suck and I'm doubtful of things getting better.
Not to mention I've become a bit more misanthropic. Some people irl pointed out that I've become a bit more isolationist and less chatty over the last couple of months. Maybe It's my introversion kicking in but hell I know. I did kind of start to become somewhat of a pessimist and doomer. I don't really like feeling this way but I feel I can't do much about It. I'm too much of a negative and social loser to do any change in general in general. Just wanting life to get over with.
That's about It.
Dynamic is somewhat different in Romania,but the situation is kind of the same
Personally,I haven't gone to any protests,but I wouldn't fault anyone for not wanting actual fascists on the upswing
I'm less hopeless, because there is a real dissatisfaction with the way things are and maybe if the two reactionary tendencies duke it out,there will be some space for a leftist current in the future
There is still a memory of how things were and people are grabbing onto whatever tells them what they like to hear. The fact that it's all fascists who do that is due to historical circumstance,but at least it gives me slight hope people don't want to ascribe to the slavery the west imposes on us. The difficult part is actually channeling that sentiment somewhere productive.
Communism won here once,we can make sure it wins again and forever this time.
thank you for the comment! i am just too scared to be wrong, especially about romania. i can't afford being confidently wrong either. all i hear are fascist adjacent junk everywhere i go and i know the whole "most romanian citizens would like to have ceausescu again" statistic from a long-ish time ago
sadly my place is so reactionary it hurts