I drove over 6 hours to see them and be present for the holidays and they went out of their way to cross my boundaries and make me uncomfortable. I didn’t want to be rude when they put me on the spot so I read the verses they wanted to humor them, but then they asked me to lead a fuckin prayer. They are aware I’m an atheist and resent that fact; I try to respect their beliefs but they push theirs onto me like this. I said a short prayer to get out of this whole situation and my mom started crying and smiling huge like I was just converted. Feel so weird and gross about this. They roped my partner into participating too and they’re of the same mind as me on these things so it made us both uncomfortable and anxious.

This incident was just icing on the cake of a trip full of my emotionally abusive mother starting constant arguments, my family trying to get me to drink knowing I’m sober, and being around my siblings one of whom is I’ll just say an abusive shithead. I don’t think I’ll bother going next year. I recall vividly why I was hyped to move out and why I don’t call more often. The neglect, manipulation, and abuse of years in that household all came flowing back. No wonder i deal with so much mental health shit lol

Edit: sorry if initial phrasing doesn’t convey the reason the prayer got me but it’s because I left Christianity due to the institutional abuses I experienced and witnessed, not just because I’m not religious these days. I just got put on the spot and due to family history went fight or flight and compromised my needs to get out of there asap. Really just needed to vent abt this didn’t want to spark confusion or debate sorry