Assume you never get tired of the pleasure in heaven, and you never get used to the torture in hell.
Lmao this is such a stupid scenario, but I love putting incomprehensibly large numbers in absurd contexts like this. Like yeah, no brainer that infinity is vastly incomprehsibly largererer than Graham's number, of course nothing is worth going to hell that long for.
But uh, Graham's numbers is a lot of years. For all intents and purposes it's just never coming compared to the characteristic time scale of human thought.
the former option for sure my only true fear deep down is not existing anymore aaaa
An interesting-ish and anti-verifiable thought about nonexistence is that since we cannot perceive nonexistence or time "while" nonexistent, and all things necessarily change... stretching that then any kind of law or logic or universal pattern that decrees we are dead may also eventually change and we just reappear. No matter the infinite infinities that may need to pass. And not just "an exact duplicate of ourself", but "ourself".
Which is to say: isekai is, alas, inevitable.
And with strange aeons, even Death may die.
Somehow missed this when you posted it earlier but I want say I've had the same thought and it's how I feel too.
That's kind of the thing about infinity, right? Who's to say that the universe is not cyclical if it never ends? The coming heat death, and the arrow of time in general, is a statistical process, not a fundamental one. After enough time, anything physically possible will happen, including the sudden reversal of entropy and therefore death.
And since we cannot perceive nonexistance, one must always exist from ones own perspective! The eternity before I'm born is the only reference frame I have for the supposed eternity after death, but that itself spontanseously ended with my birth, why can't it happen again? And if it does, it should be instantly after death from my perspective, too.
But it feels like nothing at all. :)