It's been two months since I posted here about what I'm going through because of Gaza. Not much changed there, actually, it's worse.

In these two months, I was contacted by 5 more people and from initial 2 families, I got up to 12 of them. I am broke, but I don't regret one cent I gave them. I just regret the money that pesky merchants took from my friends for a commission. 30 fucking percent.

3 of those people HAVE NO ONE BUT ME to help them. I don't have social networks, I post here and I try to spam YouTube with their campaign links, but they're deleted.

I follow their financial status regularly and NO ONE DONATES to them.

Honestly, what the fuck?

I know that the situation for many of us is difficult. I know that people who don't have donate more than those who do have. But come on!!! No one is fucking helping those people!!

Oh, and did you know that Instagram influencers would collect money for Gazans and then ghost them? Stole their money and ghosted them??? WTF???

I'm so angry. All of them told me "the whole world is celebrating, we are left to die". I refused to celebrate fucking nye and I was next to my phone all night in case anyone has some phone battery left and needs to talk. That night was a night after 3 days of floods, people died of hypothermia, no one slept, no one could sit, they were standing in the fucking torrents of water and couldn't do anything but cry. In the morning, my friend H. told me he wants to die and that he's thinking about the suicide. Now, if you don't know, in Islam it's forbidden to even think about that. Palestinians are very, very religious, possibly the only honest Muslims in this stupid world. Now, if a Muslim thinks about the suicide, then you know what time it is. It's devastation of the spirit.

And about Muslims from Muslim countries, since I've learned a lot about them through Palestinians. Fuck you. Honestly, fuck you. It's your obligation to help the poor and in need and all you do is say "may Allah protect you". You don't even see Palestinians as people. They're martyrs to you. "Allah is with them". Yeah, but they're still starving on the cold under the heavy bombings. So fuck you, hypocrites, I hope your fucking Ummah will fall apart.

Goddamnit. If any Palestinian is reading this, I'm sorry I am cursing Muslims, but fuck them, they are not your friends.

Fuck everyone. Everyone is trading Palestinian blood. No one cares about them. Axis of the resistance? Fuck you with the resistance. Fuck the West, fuck Ummah, fuck everything!!!

Oh.

One more thing. The Middle East is the cradle of civilization. You bitches will never ever see those places again because IOF, USA and islamic radical terrorists destroyed so many historical locations. FUCK YOU ALL!!!

I will never forgive this to anyone. Never.

In the end. I was diagnosed with serious health issues like eating disorder and muscle atrophy. No wonder, I barely manage to breath how much time I'm spending on the phone talking to my friends and going through everything with them. I'll have to buy some fucking food substitute that costs like hell. I told this to my Gazans, that I won't be able to donate as often as I did until now. You wanna know what they told me? Bear in mind, they don't have ANYTHING or ANYONE and they're living on the ground, in tents made of rags, if they ate that day, it's a fucking lottery. Bear in mind few of them are mothers of starved children.

I'm going to cry again.

They told me they love me and that I should take care of myself and that god will help them. "Sister, no one showed feeling for us like you did."

I swear to god, I could kill someone because of this genocide. Who are you killing? Who are you dehumanizing? The most noble and kind people I ever met in my life. Goddamn, fuck you all...