I'm scared of posting too many details for fear of self doxing. But I am that guy who N95s indoors everywhere. I never unmask except in front of my partner, who also is careful. I put HEPA filters in my classroom. I also avoid unnecessary indoor activities, like cinemas, gyms and indoor sports. If there's an interesting event but there's no ventilation and no one is masking, I'll give it a pass.
There's been some positives. I'm way more self confident than I used to be, knowing deeply how shitty and ignorant the average normie is. I used to always second guess myself, and now I don't. I also spend way less money, as I don't dine nor holiday. COVID pushed me far into tankie territory, and opened my mind into better understating patriarchy and white supremacy.
Also ya, I don't get sick ever.
However, I'm such a different person today. I'm not the sweet chatty person I was in 2019. I had an almost femme twang in my voice back then, and now I'm just a ragged pissed off uncle.
One huge disadvantage is that I'm such a media consuming person. Pre covid, I'd avoid TV and games. Now it's all I do. I've become the kind of person that needs someone on in order to eat or sleep. I used to fucking hate these people, and now I've become that person.
The other huge problem is that my work productivity is way lower. I used to finish everything up in a coffee shop, now obviously I can't do that. I can definitely do more in my job and in my org. I regret that I've become, honestly, maybe a bit lazy.
Dat me fr fr.
I'd already been cultivating an internal rage because of some life stuff leading up to 2020, but this whole 'everyone else is living in alternate reality where pandemics and genocides don't exist' thing has given me an almost non-stop internal dialogue of rage or sorrow. I used to volunteer with a children's charity, was often called a baby whisperer, and fun uncle was like 90% of my personality. Now I'm an angry old man constantly trying to remind myself that it's not them who has no concern for my health and safety, but the capitalists' culture they've fallen victim to. But hell if that works half the time.