It's messed up to feel the need to "possess" or "own" someone else.

Speaking as an experienced dom, I fully agree. I never understood the 24/7 thing. I want my play partners to be FWBs with a heavy emphasis on the F part. Outside of sessions (with all the proper safe/sane/consensual aspects) I prefer to treat them as equals. Criteria #1 on my mental checklist of a potential partner is "Are they an independent adult who has experience being an independent adult?"