Please note: This post contains my own emotions and thoughts. I did not write this post to be inflammatory or cause drama. Also contains SA
I 100% believe the left can only succeed if we accept all people, regardless of identity. This includes men. I also believe that the only way we can keep young men from going alt-right is empathy for their plights.
That said, I've been dealing with a lot of irrational anger towards men as a group even though I don't want to be. Every time I read/listen to opinions by men on women's issues it drives me up the wall. It makes me so mad. These people have mothers, daughters, wives, friends who have most likely experienced assault or rape and they can't even be assed to believe women when they talk about their experiences.
It makes me angry that men have to be center of everything. I'd be so embarrassed if I interjected "what about meeeeeee" every time someone talked about their own issues. It makes me wonder how self-centered you must experience the world to do this.
I read a comment the other day by a woman on reddit. She wrote something a long the lines of "It took me 50 years of life experience and raising a daughter to realize that most men do not like women". I think I agree. I especially find porn extremely telling of this. As someone in their 20s I do notice how boomer men treat me like a stupid child, but have no issues sexualizing me.
Thoughts?
I'm a man and I'm sorry to say that I kind of agree with you. There are exceptions but most of the men who voice their opinion on feminism and gender issues seems to be viewing it as a zero sum game where women can only be liberated at the expense of men.
Most of those men seems to take any critique of patriarchal structures personal and will try to shift focus for instance by making a discussion about how women feel unsafe meeting men on the street at night be about how insulted they feel by being perceived as dangerous and how they have never themselves done anything mean to women.
I see this as an instance of the liberal fetichation of personal responsibility. The liberal explanation for why things happe is that they happen because individuals deliberately choose to make them happen. So when someone is talking about oppression of women their brains short-circuits into perceiving it as an accusation against them personally.
Is this not true though? Not in the way that conservatives think because they're dumb. But isn't the goal of feminism to eliminate the patriarchy? Because the reality is that men have privilege in the patriarchy. Life easier for CIS Men at the expense of women (and trans and non-binary and everyone else) and this needs to change. I don't know what a post patriarchy world looks like, but it can't have the current advantages men have over women.
The patriarchy, like all coercive hierarchies, uses repression to maintain its order. There will be individual ways that men will lose ground by giving up their privilege and there will be some men for whom this will be a net loss, but I believe that those men will be in the minority. Lifting that repression will involving making men more emotionally literate and healthy on average. It will also involve a lot of people who would live as men under current society to be able to live as other genders. And the empowerment of our women comrades in one area leads to a mutual empowerment.
Yeah lots of the gripes that the MRA/incels/malechuds have stem from their role/responsibility within the patriarchy (having to make the first move, having to be 'strong', 'good' chin, etc) Patriarchy hurts men too, cause at the end of the day its a capitalist tool of maintaining power, so if you don't start with power(most men) it will oppress you.