Please note: This post contains my own emotions and thoughts. I did not write this post to be inflammatory or cause drama. Also contains SA

I 100% believe the left can only succeed if we accept all people, regardless of identity. This includes men. I also believe that the only way we can keep young men from going alt-right is empathy for their plights.

That said, I've been dealing with a lot of irrational anger towards men as a group even though I don't want to be. Every time I read/listen to opinions by men on women's issues it drives me up the wall. It makes me so mad. These people have mothers, daughters, wives, friends who have most likely experienced assault or rape and they can't even be assed to believe women when they talk about their experiences.

It makes me angry that men have to be center of everything. I'd be so embarrassed if I interjected "what about meeeeeee" every time someone talked about their own issues. It makes me wonder how self-centered you must experience the world to do this.

I read a comment the other day by a woman on reddit. She wrote something a long the lines of "It took me 50 years of life experience and raising a daughter to realize that most men do not like women". I think I agree. I especially find porn extremely telling of this. As someone in their 20s I do notice how boomer men treat me like a stupid child, but have no issues sexualizing me.

Thoughts?

  • AFineWayToDie [he/him]
    ·
    4 years ago

    Pretty much spot-on. Men, especially white/white-passing, affluent men of above-average intelligence, are raised to assume they've got it made, because they're on top of the hierarchy. Once they hit adulthood and are tossed into the machine, they'd rather take the anger that generates and pass it down the chain, as though this will somehow propel them upward. They've internalized the hierarchy to the point where they don't even perceive it as anything other than natural.

    I haven't devised a solution, but I think it helps to be aware of the conversation's context between general and specific. In general, women experience more severe oppression, but the young male hears this and testifies about the oppression he experiences as an individual. But rather than try to deal with his emotions and feelings on an individual level, he instead attacks the generalization, because it's the only way he can justify his feelings of oppression being significant when he's not part of the group in question. So he'll turn around and seek solace with people who pat his ego as an individual, via spurious/made-up statistics about how he's really part of the more oppressed group.

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
      ·
      4 years ago

      Once they hit adulthood and are tossed into the machine, they’d rather take the anger that generates and pass it down the chain, as though this will somehow propel them upward.

      Oh hey it's my dad!

    • MathVelazquez [he/him]
      ·
      4 years ago

      They’ve internalized the hierarchy to the point where they don’t even perceive it as anything other than natural.

      Good post, but this right here especially is true. It's why a lot of "good intentioned" liberal men still end up acting shitty towards women who assert themselves.