Was asked in the discord, so might as well make the essay a hexbear post, right? My most recent research can best be described as "analyzing all mentions of FDS during the week on reddit", which is far from exhaustive, but the allegations against FDS are not new in general.
So at the root core, the sub has a sociopathic philosophy of exploiting value out of men, and dehumanizing men that have less value for exploiting. This includes using terms like "scrotes" and "LVM" (low value men). The central idea behind "value" can be oversimplified as "marry a guy with money". The sub is dedicated to strategies around that philosophy.
I just happen to be a Marxist Feminist, which vaguely means I think exploitation is bad.
They use some kind of script to autoban people who post in threads in other subreddits that criticize FDS.
They ban people for stepping out of line with the core philosophy or questioning the rules.
I've seen reports/allegations that at least one mod could be racist, transphobic, anti-sexworker, etc.
During my research, I found that most conversation about FDS was going on in MGTOW and redpill type subs. The primary complaints I did see seemed to be about the actual toxic behavior in FDS, even if the male comments in complaint threads were also expectedly toxic.
The main counternarrative to FDS is to describe them as "female incels" which I find distasteful because femcels actually already exist, and is punching down at both incels and femcels, and they seem to be technically more voluntarily celibate, if only for the sake of withholding value to extract value.
There wasn't a lot of feminist conversation going on about it, other than a single example of a black woman in r/blackladies complaining about an allegedly racist mod.
One sub explicitly mentions "Do not dehumanize others. RedPill, incel, Femcel, FDS, PUA, MGTOW, etc. content is not allowed. Ignorance of these hate groups is not an excuse to parrot their ideology." in a comment removal message /r/datingoverthirty
I did get some tradwife vibes from a few things.
somebody created r/femaledatinghelp which I joined instead of continuing to promote r/twoxdating.
A common theme I've sadly seen with a lot of TERFs is previous abuse in their lives. They use that abuse and the trauma to then justify why trans people aren't real.
Transmen are simply traitors who wish to escape the abuse given to women by pretending to be male,
Transwomen are simple male predators who seek to infiltrate female spaces and abuse women.
I think they genuinely cannot view the subject without their own abuse clouding it. They cannot imagine what it is like to be trans so they see it the only way they can, through their trauma. They also see their abuse as something specifically female, so they cannot imagine why anyone would willingly choose to be female, to present as such, and also open themselves up to that same misogyny they've lived with their whole lives. It's almost like stolen valour to them.
I cannot fully blame them for it. They're still shitty and their ideology sucks, but to be creeped on by men all through your life, get cat-called in the streets, to be criticised for your appearance, to be told to "smile" in the streets, to be wary of men and what they'll do to you etc. and then be told that "there are some people who were AMAB but choose to be women", or however it's phrased, I can truly understand why your first question that would pop into your head be "Why would you choose this?". It's nasty, but I understand where it comes from.