After seeing some threads it's clear that there are chapos here who need a mentor in the romantic arts (tm). Pitch me your best Q's and I'll spit my best A's.
I've been a professional dating coach and matchmaker for the last 6 years.
edit: Wrapped up for now. Thanks everyone and good luck out there, you can do it!
You're right that there's a lot going on in this question, but a few things that can be really helpful:
From what you've said, you've been hurt in the past and that's made you wary. A huge thing with dating is feeling good about yourself going into a date. That can be tough when you have things about yourself you're insecure about, so focusing on working through that with a therapist can be helpful. This is not "improve yoself bruh" it's more learning to accept and love yourself as you are.
Depending on the severity of your condition, it might be a good idea to look into dating others with similar physical conditions. They'll have organically developed empathy from shared life experiences.
I've worked with clients of all backgrounds and degrees of physical ability. It can definitely be difficult at first for them, but it's still very possible to find a partner. Make sure you're extending that same (reasonable) expectation of acceptance to the people you're dating.
Ultimately, if someone is going to judge you or mock you on a date, you're 100% correct that they're an asshole. If anything, they're saving you time.