I've let this one sit here a bit because I wanted to consider it. First, this is not healthcare advice and I am not a mental health professional. The main thing I'd say is that I'm reading a lot of self loathing in your comment.

If asking your family for help is an option, I would recommend seeing a therapist to help process your feelings of self worth and getting into a more stable headspace if you're feeling especially anxious or depressed.

If that really isn't an option, then buy a book on CBT and learning some skills from that. I recommend this one. This is not a replacement for a therapist and closer to frontier medicine. Your results will vary, but that book has helped me.

As I've said in other replies, it's completely normal to be bad at dating at first. Everyone pretty much bombs their first couple of dates. That says nothing about you as a person, it's just a skill and social situation you need to learn and adjust to.

I do recommend getting to a place where you feel good about yourself before dating. This doesn't mean getting a new job or anything status related, just that you like yourself as a person. I've had plenty of working class clients who were able to have a healthy dating life. It takes a bit more work to date on a budget, but it's doable.

Exercising is good! Incorporating more of that can help a ton with mental health in addition to therapy and in some cases medication. I'm not a mental health expert, so I'm not qualified to speak beyond that. Things definitely get better though, I promise!

i’m a mostly unironic stalinist in a city that’s so republican we literally never even get democrats running in local elections.

Okay definitely don't lead with that if you live in a conservative area. Pretend you're a DemSoc or something for a while and be open to dating Progressives.