After seeing some threads it's clear that there are chapos here who need a mentor in the romantic arts (tm). Pitch me your best Q's and I'll spit my best A's.
I've been a professional dating coach and matchmaker for the last 6 years.
edit: Wrapped up for now. Thanks everyone and good luck out there, you can do it!
say one is going down the dating app route, how should profiles, initial interactions be structured?
i don't want to feel like a piece of meat attempting to sell myself?
What I'm about to tell you is a cheat code that works really well for dating apps:
If you're really stressing over your profile, create a fake account of the type of person you're into. From there, you can then pay attention to the types of profiles you match with and what works.
That shows you:
When you're done, delete the account. Don't lead people on or anything, you're not there to catfish, just understand the vibes better so you don't waste time.
You can also do this after seeing a couple profiles of people you're into on your main account if you really want it to seem more legit.
Initial interactions kind of depend on the app. Low stakes / shitposty messages work well. If you're interested in women, they do get a lot of weird spam, so anything normal and not pressuring will stand out.
The messaging is a numbers game, don't be afraid to suck at it first. Even when you get good at it, you'll be randomly ghosted. Once you've built up rapport, suggest a short coffee date and see what they say.
I hear you on this, dating app profiles can feel weird at first. Unfortunately, you kind of do need to market yourself a little. I generally tell my clients to view it as putting their best foot forward.
Dating apps definitely surface the reality that capitalist society has commodified all of us. My take is that it is better to role with that dynamic in a non-sleazy way since that's the game we're all playing.
thank you
Absolutely! Hoped it helped.