Sorry for jumping in on another (good) conversation, but I saw that you’ve made a few posts on the topic, and was interested in this theme of following an idea or framework of ideas to their “logical conclusion” of some anticipated, undesirable extreme. I can seriously relate to the need to beat myself up out of some sort of perceived failure to live my life “properly”, in part reinforced by the dichotomy of “being a productive member of society” and “being useless” that’s imposed on pretty much all of us from birth.
For myself, a meditation practice has been helpful for catching myself when I fall into these thought patterns. When I notice myself feeling frustrated with myself for a lack of progress, or distress over some perception that I could be making much better use of my time than smoking weed and playing a video game, it’s been a lot easier for me to defuse that feeling before going into a mental tailspin. These concepts of “what I should be” are illusory and inherently unattainable (like the idea of being perfectly mindful all the time, when mindfulness itself is something that comes and goes, as with everything else.) And even if that anxiety might still arise, it’s been easier not to identify myself with it to the point of self-perpetuating distress.
Apologies if that didn’t make sense/doesn’t resonate lmao, as a full disclosure I am going through some med withdrawal so “brain machine broke”, but let me know if I can clarify anything. As full disclosure I’m one of those “perennialists” (i.e. see a lot of these spiritual practices sharing a broader metaphysical origin and goal) and think people should follow whatever path most resonates for them on every level down to aesthetic - but I’m wondering if your issue lies not with Buddhism itself, but potentially some other thought-pattern that this specific idea of Buddhism’s “conclusion” tends to evoke.
Sorry for jumping in on another (good) conversation, but I saw that you’ve made a few posts on the topic, and was interested in this theme of following an idea or framework of ideas to their “logical conclusion” of some anticipated, undesirable extreme. I can seriously relate to the need to beat myself up out of some sort of perceived failure to live my life “properly”, in part reinforced by the dichotomy of “being a productive member of society” and “being useless” that’s imposed on pretty much all of us from birth.
For myself, a meditation practice has been helpful for catching myself when I fall into these thought patterns. When I notice myself feeling frustrated with myself for a lack of progress, or distress over some perception that I could be making much better use of my time than smoking weed and playing a video game, it’s been a lot easier for me to defuse that feeling before going into a mental tailspin. These concepts of “what I should be” are illusory and inherently unattainable (like the idea of being perfectly mindful all the time, when mindfulness itself is something that comes and goes, as with everything else.) And even if that anxiety might still arise, it’s been easier not to identify myself with it to the point of self-perpetuating distress.
Apologies if that didn’t make sense/doesn’t resonate lmao, as a full disclosure I am going through some med withdrawal so “brain machine broke”, but let me know if I can clarify anything. As full disclosure I’m one of those “perennialists” (i.e. see a lot of these spiritual practices sharing a broader metaphysical origin and goal) and think people should follow whatever path most resonates for them on every level down to aesthetic - but I’m wondering if your issue lies not with Buddhism itself, but potentially some other thought-pattern that this specific idea of Buddhism’s “conclusion” tends to evoke.