I will caveat this by saying I like how groups with explicitly avoiding overly nsfw stuff can make a much safer and comfortable environ in general. That said, it certainly has resulted in certain online spaces where it feels like a tug-of-war of a weird puritanical environ I'm glad I've gotten away from, to a fetishization of queer people and life that put me in someone else's shoes for a second. Like, I'm a bisexual dude but and have fit in well enough in straight and gay spaces, but sometimes the jokes and the amendments on anti-horni action when applying to queer stuff has me like, "is this how I've made people feel?" It's only the briefest glimmer and most times my sexuality has be fetishized I've got the benefit of being a cis dude in specific communities and situations where it can rightfully get a pass till I voice any concern. I dunno, just semi-ranting if I'm the only one who feels a bit awkward in some online situations and groups. Irl, it's very rarely been a problem. That said and done, much kudos on Hexbear for trying to try a happy medium. P.S. I'll delete or won't relent to a mod deleting this should my confused rant ruffle feathers or straight up offend people.
I said something about this the other day, and pretty much everything I'm about to say is off the top of my head and not well thought out, but the fact is there are a million places on the internet to be horny. If I want to go put my filthy mind on display, and ogle the delightfully filthy minds of others, it's a click away. But a place like this, one that's extremely left-wing and aggressively protective of trans/queer members (at least that's what it looks like to me from my years of casual browsing) is not as easy to come by. I admit, I find myself wishing this place were a little bit hornier too sometimes. But then I think about how many people have very good reasons to be uncomfortable with that (not that anyone needs whatever I deem a "good" reason), and I think about how easy it can be for my perceived charming, flirty comments to be someone else's perceived triggering aggression, and I just think..... why fuck up a good thing? Especially when, as someone else pointed out, people can and do talk about sex here. From what I've seen, there seem to be a few unwritten, unofficial ground-rules that most people are following:
• Minimal or no discussion of the "types" of people we're horny for.
• Minimal or no directing of horniness towards other users of the site.
• Keeping discussion of sex focused more on oneself. What I like, what I do, not getting into other people's business.
• Not getting too graphic or explicit with the sex talk, avoiding gory details.
Again, that's just the way I've experienced the site as a casual user, I'm sure other people would have different opinions. It's hard enough to keep a place like this running smoothly without introducing overt horniness into the mix, and I'm glad that people here manage to keep things mostly respectful without the need for a blanket ban on sexual stuff.