The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love is a book by bell hooks about men, patriarchy, the relationship between them, and most importantly love. It's a book that I wish I had read much earlier, and so I decided to start a reading group. I'm a couple chapters in but will be re-reading (well, re-listening) to the chapters as we go through the book. This book is an empathetic look at masculinity, and focuses on learning how to love.

This idea was spawned by comrade @Othello@hexbear.net after I mentioned that I had been checking out the book and played the first chapter on Hextube. There is no need to pick up a copy, comrade Sen has already uploaded the entire audiobook onto Youtube. Content warnings are generously provided by Sen at the start of each chapter. Let's start with Chapter 1. Each chapter is only about 30 minutes long, so it's not a long commitment. I wanted to post this to c/menby but that didn't seem to work.

Uhh I don't know how to lead a reading group so let's start out with some questions:

-What stood out to you about this chapter?
-Are there any ideas that bell hooks introduces in this chapter that you've never heard of or wish you had heard earlier in your life?
-Are there any stories in this chapter that resonate with you on a personal level?

  • wtypstanaccount04 [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    The other part of this chapter that stuck out to me was this idea of a "fetish" of a strong, cold, unfeeling man, and crucially, that this is desired by some women in a patriarchal culture. I use the word fetish here because it is similar I feel to racial fetishes or other unhealthy stereotypes that bring out desire for the image of a person but distaste for the person inside. It's the answer to the eternal question of why women "go after assholes". That question is rather sexist in itself, but the reality is that a fetish is built up within society by the patriarchal culture that glorifies this lifestyle, and people's brains are molded with that fetish. I don't know if "fetish" is the right term here, kinky sex is mostly fine, but it was the word that came to me first.