The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love is a book by bell hooks about men, patriarchy, the relationship between them, and most importantly love. It's a book that I wish I had read much earlier, and so I decided to start a reading group. I'm a couple chapters in but will be re-reading (well, re-listening) to the chapters as we go through the book. This book is an empathetic look at masculinity, and focuses on learning how to love.
This idea was spawned by comrade @Othello@hexbear.net after I mentioned that I had been checking out the book and played the first chapter on Hextube. There is no need to pick up a copy, comrade Sen has already uploaded the entire audiobook onto Youtube. Content warnings are generously provided by Sen at the start of each chapter. Let's start with Chapter 1. Each chapter is only about 30 minutes long, so it's not a long commitment. I wanted to post this to c/menby but that didn't seem to work.
Uhh I don't know how to lead a reading group so let's start out with some questions:
-What stood out to you about this chapter?
-Are there any ideas that bell hooks introduces in this chapter that you've never heard of or wish you had heard earlier in your life?
-Are there any stories in this chapter that resonate with you on a personal level?
the hardest hitting part for me was the part apart longing for a fathers love. i used ti work so hard to get his approval and nothing was never good enough bending my self backwards to try to get a fraction of the love my brother was freely given. looking for male love in romantic relationships that dont fill the emptiness.the part about how women (im not a women but you get it) reject men showing their emotions and that was something i had to work to get over frankly ive very rarely seen men cry in front of me at all. my partner has cried once in our entire relation ship i cry every other day. honestly i put so much of a burden on him by expecting him to manage my emotions but i dont always do the same for him and i feel bad about that. i think those were the two most meaningful parts to me. excited for chapter two.
You can always cry together.
It's interesting how our separate takeaways say a lot about the course of our lives. I'm a lonely, single man and my time growing up during the 2010s influenced me heavily and thus all of those parts of the book stuck out to me more. Here, have a hug:
I do wish there was more in this book about the non-binary and trans experience with love. It is probably mostly due to the time the book was published, but I do wish there was a section on that.
random but you wanna watch vids on cytube till i feel sleepy?
why not?