"self-destructive male expectations" could be used when not talking about outwardly-directed toxicity, and it would have either not confused the specific poster in that thread, or not given them the ammunition to intentionally confuse the readers of that thread.

I mean, I would much rather just widely teach feminist theory to kids but that's a lot less likely to happen soon

And like, I have heard the clarification of what toxic masculinity really means like, two times out of the thousands of times I have heard it used.