You do it because you were raised in a global death cult called capitalism that manifests itself as self-destructive behaviors. That's ok; we all do that to some extent or another. But you know you shouldn't, and you should make your best effort to exercise patience and restraint in accordance with that part of yourself that says, "hold on, this seems like a pointless waste of time that will only cause me more anxiety".

Don't beat yourself up so much. Also, don't make yourself the main character so much; people aren't disagreeing because they hate you or whatever. You're just another person who they barely perceive, like you barely perceive most people you interact with. And that's fine.

Log off and eat an apple or something.