I always see canonical postings on the stack overflow job board. I thought "hey maybe toss out my line, how bad could it be?"

Well I got past the initial glance at the resume and I received the most insane recruiting email I've ever seen.

After the initial screening, the next step is a written test, an aptitude(iq) test, and a personality test. The written test is anonymized to avoid bias. I'm just going to copy and paste these questions.

"The current stage is your written interview. Please take some time to answer the questions below. We’re looking to get a sense of who you are, what’s important to you, and how you communicate. If you’ve already completed this when applying for another role, please feel free to copy/paste from your previous submission.

Education

At high school, how did you fare in mathematics and physical sciences? Which were your strongest subjects in the hard sciences, and how did you rank in your class?
At high school, what leadership roles did you take on?
What course and university did you choose, and why?
How did you rank competitively in university? Which were your strongest courses, and which did you enjoy the most?
At high school and university, describe your achievements that were considered exceptional by colleagues and staff.

Career development

How would you describe your level of experience as a professional software engineer?
Describe your skill in your preferred development language, and how you attained it.
What are your strengths as a software engineer?

Experience

Describe your level of experience in Golang, and how you have attained it.
Describe your level of experience in Python, and how you have attained it.
When did you start working on Linux? Describe your level of experience as a user & developer on Linux.
Which SoC / platforms have you worked on?
Describe the embedded Linux products you worked on (purpose, market, etc.)
Describe your contributions to those projects (bootloader, kernel, userspace apps, etc.)
Describe your experience with systemd and init, boot and initramfs
Describe your experience with embedded Linux graphics
Describe your experience working with bluetooth and networking
How do you debug very low-level issues in boot, the kernel, and firmware?
How do you address software performance, systematically, in your products and in your software engineering practices?
How do you prefer to drive documentation for your products?
How do you think about quality in your products?
Describe a case where it was very difficult to test code you were writing, but you found a reliable way to do it.
If available, provide your public github/gitlab repository links
If available, provide your personal blog/website links
If available, provide your professional Youtube channel
What would you like to achieve in career development and skills development?

Context

How are you involved in open source software?
Describe any significant contributions to open source (with links where possible)
What do you think are the key ingredients of a successful open source project?
Why you most want to work for Canonical?
Which other companies are building the sort of products you would like to work on?
Describe pros/cons of Ubuntu Core
Describe areas for improvement in Ubuntu Core
What do you think Canonical needs to improve in its engineering and products?
What do you think is the biggest opportunity for Canonical in this arena?
Who do you think are key competitors to Canonical? How do you think Canonical should plan to win that race?

"

The most bizarre thing is they're asking about my grades/ranking in high school. Dude I'm applying for a job, not babby's first internship.

Its no surprise that a company that isn't that big has constant and numerous postings online. They're obviously actively hostile to their applicants and set on wasting as much time as possible.

  • abc [he/him, comrade/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Education

    At high school, how did you fare in mathematics and physical sciences? Which were your strongest subjects in the hard sciences, and how did you rank in your class?

    • I have historically been average at best in math. I tended to exceed in the physical sciences. Ranked in the top 10 in AP Biology, with Biology being my strongest subject.

    At high school, what leadership roles did you take on?

    • I was Vice President of one science club and President of the other science club we had. I also founded the journalism club (but it fizzled out after like 2 years because our school was cheap and I had to pirate InDesign for us to use)

    What course and university did you choose, and why?

    • I chose Computer Science but it caused me to drop out after two years because me not have good math foundation.

    How did you rank competitively in university? Which were your strongest courses, and which did you enjoy the most?

    • My strongest courses were PHIL and SOC ones.

    At high school and university, describe your achievements that were considered exceptional by colleagues and staff.

    • I once made fun of my vice-principal on twitter and caused her to sit me in her office while her & the resource officer lied about how they could 'press charges' for 'harassment' and pointed to some rule they'd highlighted in the school handbook, which I read aloud back to them and went "this doesn't qualify to the situation?" causing her to suspend me for a day. I also almost caused the entire school to have to retake one of those state tests by tweeting about how our room didn't have a proctor like 10 minutes before the test started and then replying to some test official who'd saw my tweet with "shut up nerd".

    Career development

    How would you describe your level of experience as a professional software engineer?

    • At my previous job my boss bought like $10,000 worth of computer hardware (this was 2016) and had me set up bitcoin mining rigs, to which I explained to him that he was going to get like $.50 a day at best and drive up his electricity bill. He still had me do it.

    Describe your skill in your preferred development language, and how you attained it.

    • I like to make shitty amateur level websites in HTML & CSS occasionally as pet projects.

    What are your strengths as a software engineer?

    • I am good at Googling and bullshitting.

    Experience

    Describe your level of experience in Golang, and how you have attained it.

    • I don't know what that is.

    Describe your level of experience in Python, and how you have attained it.

    • I could probably do Hello World in Python. My friend once told me that I needed to learn Python if I wanted to actually get anywhere without a degree and I was like "yeah but I'd need to learn in a classroom and I'm not spending money on a coding bootcamp"

    When did you start working on Linux? Describe your level of experience as a user & developer on Linux.

    • I have run Mint for awhile but I like using Windows, sorry.

    Which SoC / platforms have you worked on?

    • I haven't even used my soldering iron since I bought it like 11 years ago when someone gifted me one of those clocks you have to solder. Don't ask me about SoCs.

    Describe the embedded Linux products you worked on (purpose, market, etc.)

    • No.

    Describe your contributions to those projects (bootloader, kernel, userspace apps, etc.)

    • I participated in quality assurance.

    Describe your experience with systemd and init, boot and initramfs

    • what is this nerd shit lol

    Describe your experience with embedded Linux graphics

    • I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic, see if I can track the IP address...

    Describe your experience working with bluetooth and networking

    • Harald "Bluetooth" Gormsson died in either 985/86 and was a king of Denmark and Norway. During his reign, Harald oversaw the reconstruction of the Jelling runic stones, and numerous other public works.

    How do you debug very low-level issues in boot, the kernel, and firmware?

    • I Google the issue and desperately comb through 10 year old Stack Overflow posts until I find a workable solution.

    How do you address software performance, systematically, in your products and in your software engineering practices?

    • Anything the client says is in their head.

    How do you prefer to drive documentation for your products?

    • They won't let me handle support articles at work for whatever reason so idk.

    How do you think about quality in your products?

    • Eh.

    Describe a case where it was very difficult to test code you were writing, but you found a reliable way to do it.

    • One time I was trying to create a live clock/calendar in HTML/CSS without relying on Javascript and realized I was a dumbass.

    If available, provide your public github/gitlab repository links

    • No.

    If available, provide your personal blog/website links

    If available, provide your professional Youtube channel

    • Am I Linus from Tech Tips???

    What would you like to achieve in career development and skills development?

    • I just want enough money to afford a decent studio apartment so I can stop living with people. please just hire me

    Context

    How are you involved in open source software?

    • I'm not.

    Describe any significant contributions to open source (with links where possible)

    • I am the creator of LibreOffice

    What do you think are the key ingredients of a successful open source project?

    • Sugar, spice, and everything nice.

    Why you most want to work for Canonical?

    • I just wanna get paid.

    Which other companies are building the sort of products you would like to work on?

    • Your biggest competitor

    Describe pros/cons of Ubuntu Core

    • Pros: It's very nice. Cons: It can be a bit reductionist.

    Describe areas for improvement in Ubuntu Core

    • I feel like there are areas where the user experience could be improved.

    What do you think Canonical needs to improve in its engineering and products?

    • User experience and product development.

    What do you think is the biggest opportunity for Canonical in this arena?

    • We should really focus on the end user. We have such a passionate userbase.

    Who do you think are key competitors to Canonical? How do you think Canonical should plan to win that race?

    • I dunno but I do know that Canonical's drive to succeed is unparalleled. And that's because of the people who work for Canonical.