I don't know if you all have seen people oohing and ahhing about the oxford or series comma in dating profiles, but I'm a bit sick of it. It's boring, overused, and at best just indicates that you are the sort of person to judge another by their grammar preferences.

So why is it in so many dating profiles? I certainly don't think our collective 7th grade english teachers instilled a deep love for punctuation in our 13 year old minds and souls.

My theory is that there were some clever, yet boring, people writing their lists: "My favorite things are traveling, netflix, and ______". Unable to complete their rule-of-three they being to search. Their eye catches something! It's the oxford comma in their uncompleted list. This is cheeky, this is funny, lets add it to the list.

People love this, and either come to the joke on their own or borrow it from other profile. It spreads like wildfire, but the uninitiated begin to think that liking the oxford comma is a normal and regular thing to do. Liking the oxford comma is something that educated people would do, it is a signal of class and if everyone else likes it then I too must profess a love.

And then there is the now. I see profiles on Hinge. The prompt "Let's make sure we're on the same page about," the response "the oxford comma." I see tinder profiles. "About me: -BLM -Astrology emojis -Crazy about bubble tea -Oxford comma enthusiast"

:angery:

  • Tommasi [she/her]
    ·
    3 years ago

    It’s boring, overused, and at best just indicates

    :very-intelligent: you used the oxford comma yourself. Curious.

    • Nagarjuna [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      One of the things that sucks about the internet is that it’s made us all realize that none of us are truly unique

      It's made me uncomfortably aware of what a weirdo I am, like, if I'm having minority opinions in communities of 100k then I did something wrong

      • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
        ·
        3 years ago

        I've realised I'm too online for the average person, but not online enough to be truly terminally online. I'm in the bizarre greyzone where I know about a million dramas and have little to no stake in any of them. I know enough SCP to be boring at parties but have never written or thought about writing one, and just ignore the lore. I watch Vtubers and love hololive when I have the time but don't like 90% of the stupid memes. I watch a lot of anime, but have only a passing familiarity with the most popular seasonal franchises and like half of the classics. I've read too much theory to be tolerable, but too little to actually discuss.

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Snarky nerds got nothing on the boomers who use commas instead of ellipses. For some reason I can't do it here on hexbear but check it out: instead of ... between words like...this... the boomer uses 3 commas. Absolutely no clue why and it drives me crazy.

    • Orcocracy [comrade/them]
      ·
      edit-2
      3 years ago

      It might be because the keys are right next to each other on some keyboards. Old boomer dudes were never taught how to properly type because when they were at school typing was considered women's work.

      • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
        ·
        3 years ago

        They were also taught to write everything without emotion or tone, so they use punctuation wrong instead of using exclamation points or slang.

          • GreenTeaRedFlag [any]
            ·
            3 years ago

            I have to yell at some relatives to write more freely, because otherwise they just write threateningly or without a purpose.

  • AlexandairBabeuf [they/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    tribalism to form a connection with someone, you forget that the oxford comma used to be an actual thing people fought about. very low level culture war meat.

    anyway brb gonna put 'militant against oxford commas' in my tinder bio to break the ice

  • BezosDied [any]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Obsession with the minutiae of style prescriptions is only for professional editors and subliterates.

  • Nagarjuna [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    I think it stuck into people's brains because their cool English teacher told them the joke "this book is dedicated to my parents, Ayn Rand and God" or something like that. Since then, it's been the go to way for insufferable nerds to find each other to talk about Richard Dawkins and Pathfinder.

  • flowernet [none/use name]
    ·
    3 years ago

    it’s boring, overused, and at best

    if you're gonna write BMF posts, put the effort in. That was a perfect place to omit the comma.

  • CopsDyingIsGood [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    In true contrarian spirit i never use the oxford comma. Weird nerds can suck me off

  • eXAt [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    I agree that particular joke where the last in the triplet is the oxford comma is just not funny but I don't really get the rest of it.

    I remember being taught in elementary school to use the oxford comma (although not calling it that) so I don't get why people think it is special.

    • melon_popsicle [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 years ago

      I guess I didn't make it super clear, but my main complaint here is that I'm seeing people talk about the oxford comma in their dating profiles outside of the joke that is the self referential list.

      I've seen 3 profiles in the past 2-3 days where an answer to a prompt like "We'll get along if..." and their answer is "you use the oxford comma." It just sort of signals how bad and lazy people can be at writing bios, but I guess it isn't all bad because it becomes a quick filter.