This reminds me of the winter of 1936. Back then me and my pal Yancy went tobogganing. We were bumping gums at first but then I started to give him the stink. "I said listen here, ya crumb, you owe me a Lincoln for building that barn for you last summer."

You should have seen his face, he blew his wig, he said "Joe I don't have a Lincoln all I got is a checker" and I said, "Yancy, I tell you what." I looked him right in the eye and said, "I'm gonna bop you one you cockeyed bum." and I burnt his barn down.

I like to think I taught Yancy a valuable lesson about personal responsibility.

His fat dog ate a whole corncob once. It was remarkable.

Anyway, call the police Jill. I think the seal is jammed.