Don't know where to put this so I'm putting it in chat. Honestly I'm too exhausted rn to type out a long list of what he's doing toward me but it ends with him threatening to kick me out of the house and I have no place to go. Funny enough he's pissed off a lot at me because hexbear has been helping me eat, like I'm supposed to starve.
I tried googling around for some help but the domestic abuse resources I've found are for spouses, nothing for an adult child. I guess because they think you're pathetic that you can't leave an abusive situation on your own as an adult.
I'm sorry, comrade. I don't have anything useful rn. You're right - there aren't nearly as many resources for adult children and especially for amab people. I don't have anything useful to say rn but I'll keep you in my mind and check back in if I come up with anything. In the meanwhile, we're pulling for you.
It's nothing new which is the sad part, it's the same old abuse he used to hurl against mom and me, then he paused and chilled the fuck out for a bit and now he's back to his old self. I let my guard down thinking maybe he had turned a corner but he blindsided me.
That sucks. I'm sorry. I'm still trying to sew up wounds from things that were done to me decades ago. Having someone change direction and start re-opening those wounds must be awful.
For a while there he had me going thinking maybe he finally rounded a corner and put that shit to rest. I was wrong.
unfortunately abusers rarely, if ever, change their ways. even if they start to treat others differently they can't be trusted not to fall into old patterns with their victims.
i hope you can escape some day soon. nobody should have to live with someone who abuses them.
Damn that sucks mega. I have to remind myself to never give my parents the benefit of the doubt. Whenever I feel like they're better its so fleeting and they always go back to the same as before or worse.
My mum made me feel so incredibly unwanted I would try to off myself and when she found out she actually encouraged me to try harder no joke. I have to remember to treat them with the disdain they deserve but for some STUPID reason i feel bad about it.
Dnow how to help but I hope things get better.
It’s fucked, we are wired to seek out their validation no matter how undeserving they are. That shit fucks you up for life too, my dad was abusive and now in my late 30s I still am out here trying to people please and walking on eggshells to not upset older men (bosses etc)
Dnow how to help but I hope things get better.
Thanks for letting me vent. I suppose I should try calling or texting one of those domestic abuse hotlines.
It's worth doing. They may have resources for you, depending on what exists in your area.
Good luck and sorry to hear it. Just know atleast Internet comrades are rooting for you for what little that is worth.
Thanks comrade, and thanks again for some dinner. It just sucks and hurts and I really don't know what to do.
Obviously not the same, but I've been in a similar situation with a partner.
That does sound like a very tough situation to navigate, no easy answers, and I agree the lack of available resources are terrible :( Once you're 18, very few organisations think you need help. However - I've seen third-hand that some orgs dedicated to domestic abuse will sometimes have resources to help you still, though, so it may be worth contacting them anyway.
I hope you manage to get yourself into a better situation soon. Much empathy
I hope you manage to get yourself into a better situation soon. Much empathy
Thanks. I'm going to call one of those hotlines, perhaps they can help in some capacity.
Sorry. My parents did the same shit when I was 18 and one of my (adult) friends has been trying to extricate herself for years. Heads-up, in some places in the US, an adult living with family is legally a month-to-month renter with $0 rent. In such cases the usual eviction protections and notice period theoretically apply. As we know cops don't have a great track record of preventing illegal lockouts. But it may be a good thing to have in your back pocket. If you're in Chicago you can crash at my place.
Heads-up, in some places in the US, an adult living with family is legally a month-to-month renter with $0 rent. In such cases the usual eviction protections and notice period theoretically apply.
Good to know and thank you. I don't live near Chicago but I appreciate the offer.
