I feel there is very little we can do individually to change people's minds or turn them away from fascism, or even to get them to stop turning their own brains into soup, but you can still show them there are consequences to their actions.
Telling my own friends / relations what I think of them and cutting ties with them has done nothing to bring them back in line with normal human values, but at least I am not burdened with the guilt of my association, and maybe one day enough people will cut them off that the loneliness gets to them and they begin to re-evaluate their lives.
It is literally the least I can do. Any sadness I felt was heartbreak that they could be so shitty to begin with.
not speaking to my zionist aunt isn't going to get her to change her mind (like you said), and it's not really going to help anyone. i'm not even bothering to speak up about her beliefs right now, because it's not the right time. she's too deep in her feelings. it's about picking your moments.
i mean, i also don't live in the same country as her so it doesn't really affect me. if someone's saying heinous shit around you all the time, and they won't respect your feelings, i get the decision to cut off contact to protect yourself. but i don't buy into this "guilt by association" stuff.
By guilt by association I mean "yes haha of course you are invited to dinner, we love you, please continue to promote Tommy Robinson and attend literal far right conferences even though your own family is now thoroughly mixed"
Treating these people like normal 100% signals that their behaviour is OK