I’ve been told repeatedly that texts aren’t a good measure of understanding a person’s commitment in a relationship and the only thing that matters is meeting in person but I don’t want to disqualify the effect and necessity of of texting which is just an evolution of our methods of communicating. I’ve been seeing this person for about two months now and I understand they’re busy but I feel less assurance when I write a text only to get a response about an hour or two later, it really makes me feel like I’m not that important in their life. A recent development in texting has alarmed me somewhat, since the last date we had they have been less responsive to texting so yesterday I waited until they texted me first which they did but we haven’t had a full text conversation since about Monday - Tuesday of last week.
We texted today but I mentioned at the end of the text something like “if there’s anything on your mind I’m here to listen” and they still haven’t responded to it. Something feels “off” and it could be a multitude of reasons or it could be nothing at all and me overthinking things as I usually do. I don’t know how to navigate in relationships, being my first relationship I don’t really know what to expect from any of it so for me to be oblivious and scared I don’t think is abnormal.
next time I see them I’m gonna develop a relationship
if you're worried that something happened to make them not want to talk to you as much, you should ask them that. they could genuinely just be busy, or just not understand that you value frequent texting in a relationship. randomly testing them by not initiating conversation isn't going to really help you understand what's happening, since if you're always the one who initiates conversation it's more likely they'll just presume you're busy or don't want to talk, which could make things worse
i definitely consider texting important for me personally, as i like a pretty constant communication stream. i have a partner who doesn't like texting as much, and i had to tell him i was worried about the lack of texting before he informed me that he just doesn't usually text much. which for me personally was fine once i understood it wasn't that he was mad at me or something (i have a tendency to overthink things like this too)
it's pretty important to be able to communicate your relationship concerns with your partner without fearing judgement, so if they respond poorly to asking such a question i probably would not personally want to be in a relationship with them