I’ve been told repeatedly that texts aren’t a good measure of understanding a person’s commitment in a relationship and the only thing that matters is meeting in person but I don’t want to disqualify the effect and necessity of of texting which is just an evolution of our methods of communicating. I’ve been seeing this person for about two months now and I understand they’re busy but I feel less assurance when I write a text only to get a response about an hour or two later, it really makes me feel like I’m not that important in their life. A recent development in texting has alarmed me somewhat, since the last date we had they have been less responsive to texting so yesterday I waited until they texted me first which they did but we haven’t had a full text conversation since about Monday - Tuesday of last week.
We texted today but I mentioned at the end of the text something like “if there’s anything on your mind I’m here to listen” and they still haven’t responded to it. Something feels “off” and it could be a multitude of reasons or it could be nothing at all and me overthinking things as I usually do. I don’t know how to navigate in relationships, being my first relationship I don’t really know what to expect from any of it so for me to be oblivious and scared I don’t think is abnormal.
next time I see them I’m gonna develop a relationship
Talk to your partner about your concerns.
That's my basic relationship advice. Talk to your partner. Talk about your feelings.
Advanced relationship advice. Sometimes the things people want are unreasonable. Sometimes people will say they want X, but X is really a proxy for Y.
A partner might ask that you don't go to a particular cafe. That's probably unreasonable. You shouldn't expect to be able to control someone's free time. They might be trying to ban that cafe because they're insecure and jealous of the waiter there. They're talking about X, the cafe, but the actual problem is Jupiter sized insecurity.
Don't do that to your partner. Don't demand they text you every two hours. That's unreasonable, and probably a poor proxy for something else.
Also don't ever "test" your partner by doing stuff like not texting to see if they'll text you. That's not healthy. I understand the impulse but it leads to bad places.
It is also possible that your partner is losing interest. Don't panic. It's not the end of the world. Most relationships end. Just talk to them.