and i don't mean here, because i'm assuming ya'll are terminally fucked like i am, but i think i've lived most of my life feeling that some people out there are happy and i'm straight up not, either by ignorance or luck or some confluence of factors i'll never understand. but i met someone recently who embodied this for me and everyone they introduced me to was like this, like perfect people who are eternally happy and well adjusted. it was really bizarre and i started paying close attention to them all and, probably as expected, i'm realizing i don't think they're actually really that happy either. social media has warped so much of this that i have really no perspective anymore and i feel like a lost person in a sea of "seemingly" happy people posting instagram party photos and sunsets with their partners. i feel like the perspective i have and the way i can measure these kinds of things in myself and compare to the world around me is really fucking warped and i have no idea if i'm looking at the situation in a clear way or a super distorted way and the truth is it probably oscillates between both.

so, are there actually happy people? is it even a realistic goal? what even is happiness? fuck.