Well, i definitely wasn't speaking for the majority. Maybe i wasn't even speaking for a majority of the trans people on here, i frankly don't care about that tbh. My views on transness are driven by what i need to not only survive, but to thrive and be happy and that is very different from how we are commonly supposed to be and allowed to feel, because the ways we are supposed to be and allowed to feel are part of controlling us and exterminating as many of us as possible without the liberals noticing. I refuse to walk into that trap. And if that means that i live my life as a tripple gay nonbinary transfem bog witch kinkster headed deeply into her queer villain arc, so be it. It's honestly kinda fun when i'm not bothered by all the straight people out there and the little pissbabies who want to be like them.

Anyway, speaking on behalf of a large group would be the very opposite of what i'm on this world for. Basic facts of my day to day life put me permanently at odds with democracy-as-majority-rule. Slightly less so with democracy-as-finding-consensus, or democracy-as-doing-right-by-as-many-people-as-possible, but let me be perfectly clear here: When you're one of the weirder subsets of a minority that is roundabout 1% of the population and that 1% isn't the 1% hoarding all the wealth, democracy means you're fucked.

I've learned that the hard way over and over again during the last 3 years when i was rapidly yanked out of experiecing the world as a white imperial core leftist fucking nerd who at least mostly passed for a straight-ish man very old boy and was thrown into experiencing the world from the perspective of a political football seeing increasingly heavy use. Having hope for liberals taking political action to improve my living conditions is always a disappointment and a deeply sobering experience. It leads to the painful realization that even the part of our institutions that is not openly arguing for my opression is a spectrum that looks exactly like this:

So yeah, i'll be honest here, i'm glad that the survery results were not taken as a binding vote. What @CARCOSA@hexbear.net has posted itt has shown me once more that the mods of hexbear are people i can actually count on, and some of the reactions here, including yours, my cherished French guy talking about prison a lot, have shown me that there are still many people on this site who deeply deserve my affection and respect. The overall discussion has also shown me that a sizeable number of hexbear users are contrarian, irony-poisoned, uncaring LARPers who are liberal in the most violent ways and who will continue trying to push the site in a direction that aligns with their relative privilege, whether it's as white cis dudes or as marginalized people who have in some way managed to at least grown numb and callous enough to not feel like an open wound after walking into conversations happening within dominant society. I get that this is a survival skill, i'm not judging people for learning to not give a fuck, but i'm not like that, i am a complicated, emotional mess as people tend to be when they go through puberty again in their 40s, but given that i've been hormonally incapable of feeling the way i need to feel for most of my life, i am not willing to give that up even if it hurts me. I'm sorry when it hurts people around me, and that has happened way too much in my recent post history, partially because this entire shitshow of a struggle session coincided with a bit of a rough patch happening in my life, but that's how it is now. It doesn't excuse me being an ass, but i hope it explains it, especially to those who got caught in the crossfire without deserving any of it, like my dear comrade @Nakoichi@hexbear.net.

This still sounds angrier and as more of a doomer post than it's supposed to be, but i already had to rewrite the entire thing because i misclicked once after finishing it for the first time. Honestly, i'm fine rn, there's beautiful and precious things happening in my life and if i wasn't still glowing from them, i wouldn't have risked logging into this account after going on a verabl abuse spree a few days earlier and wouldn't even have seen that you pinged me. I don't really know where i'm headed on this site except that i'll not be publicly active under this account for opsec reasons, i've just shared a lot since i've come here and even when you're careful that's risky when reactionaries want to gut you. But i may be checking my inbox once in a while just in case.

tl;dr: Democracy is a fuck and if you want to run a site full of all kinds of marginalized people by majority vote, you are still full of liberal brain poison and need to do some fucking self crit.

I think it's time to now. Please stay safe out there, comrades. But make sure to actually go out there. Make sure to tell the ones you care about how you feel for them. Make sure to remember that a better world is possible.