Got my primary ballot and there are actually a lot of alternatives to Genocide Joe. Voting is a fuck and not worth much of my time so I figure I'd fast-track by asking other people their opinions:

Eban Cambridge (https://voterguide.sos.ca.gov/candidates/president/president-dem-cand-statements.htm#cambridge) : Pros: Weak support for a one-state solution, legalizing weed. Cons: Still wants to fund Ukraine, weirdly specific about taxes, niche opinions about things I don't care about like making family court more gender balanced -- I thought it already was and this could be a MRA dog whistle.

Orb Mommy (https://marianne2024.com/meet-marianne/): White woman capitalist and I'm very distrustful of the woo woo language, but she says some cool things sometimes so maybe she's the one if there's nobody good on the ballot.

Dean Philips: White man capitalist who "both-sides" a genocide. Lol no.

Armando "Mando" Perez-Serrato (https://presidentmando.com/):

MANDO Demands Biden Stop the GENOCIDE

MANDO is the "ONLY" Presidential Candidate calling for a Ceasefire. Vote for Mando as your way to Protest Against the GENOCIDE of 30,000 Palestinians & to support a #CeasefireNow. Biden/Kamala/ Netanyahu are War Criminals. GENOCIDE JOE, how many BABIES, CHILDREN and MOTHERS did you kill today in GAZA? Mando will refer Joe Biden/ Kamala/ Benjamin Netanyahu to the International Criminal Court for War Crimes & make sure Hunter Biden goes to prison for Federal Crimes. #GenocideJoe #ComplicitKamala"

That actually answers my question! Mando is clearly the most based Democratic candidate and will get my vote. But I'll go through the rest of them anyway.

Frankie Lozada (https://lozada2024.com/): Seems to pay lip service to universal healthcare and caring about immigrants, but not a single word about foreign policy so not him

Gabriel Cornejo (https://www.gabe2024.com/about-gabriel): Has basically no platform or stance on anything, pass.

Cenk Uygur: Desperately trying to stay relevant. No.

Jason Palmer: I'm not voting for a white man business owner.

Genocide Joe: There is a special place in Hell for anyone who willingly provides aid to genocidal monsters. You heard it here folks, those who vote Biden are going to Hell.

Write-in: They throw write-ins away so while I would love to write myself or Comrade Fidel in, I'm leaning against it given that Mando is saying what I would say if I were officially running but I'm not old enough to be president according to the constitution.

Uncommitted: Weak-ass shit that sends a weak message.

Edit: So it turns out that Mando is a whack imperialist who supports NATO, is rabidly against China, wants to decrease immigration. Maybe the only good thing he said is sending Genocide Joe to the ICJ. Unfortunately I was so taken with that idea that I already filled the fucking ballot out in pen and sealed it. The message the libs will take is "huh, I guess people really loved his hard stance for NATO, against China, and against immigrants!"