Sweet, just downloaded it, I'll try it out
Sweet, just downloaded it, I'll try it out
Like the concept, is the gameplay fun?
Yeah, YouTube seems deliberately broken for Firefox and/or uBlock and/or the combination (I would never go to YouTube without uBlock so I can't do isolation testing). Nowadays if I want to watch something on YouTube, I just grab the link and download it with yt-dlp to watch it locally in VLC. I can delete the video after.
This has the added benefit of not making my old computer's fans chug, and it prevents YouTube from doing that annoying thing of throwing up a giant thumbnail for another video in the center of the video BEFORE it has finished which blocks vision of the video.
Idk what you said but calling borscht "garbage" should be ban-worthy, it's the official state food of this place.
Update: They left. They left and said they cannot ever come back, even if they heal their trauma, even if I heal my trauma, because the relationship itself is too damaged. They also said they're just starting to realize their trauma was way worse than they had realized, and contributed much more to the bad dynamics than they'd thought -- earlier they thought it was mostly mine that was the problem, and as we were discussing the breakup they realized just how much harm their trauma had done to me and even brought my own out too (which hurt them in turn).
We were just doomed. We were just fucked from before the start. We were completely and utterly set up to fail. I'm glad you and your partner were able to reconnect, but my partner is too principled and stubborn to be willing to do that with me -- when they say it's over and they'll never be back, they mean it in a way that I cannot doubt. Honestly, your case is probably a great outlier, most people never reconnect after splitting up.
I don't know what to do with my life now. I restructured so much of my life to be devoted to them. I got through the brutal work days because I wanted to provide for them. I worked on myself to be better because I wanted to grow and heal for them.
Thank you. All my best writing is born out of immense suffering. I wish I didn't have to suffer so much. I'm so tired
Thank you so much. I shouldn't have checked this at work I'm sobbing right now. I'm so scared and heartbroken. When they told me about the longstanding problems they thought I'd leave them over it, but instead I said I wanted to address all the problems so that we could look back on this as the moment we really turned things around and made our relationship healthier than ever. They said they would like that, but since then it seems they've broken too hard to be able to do the work with me. Thanks for giving me a shred of hope that even if we break up now we may be able to reconnect.
White leftists do a phenomenal job at reminding me how little daylight exists between them and their full-fascist settler brethren
Word. I have accounts on other fediverse instances and I never fucking use them for that reason, they're not all that different from reddit. Hexbear at large is the only place that seems decent and if it didn't have this comm I don't know that I'd want to be on this site either.
If you did make a Cookout I'd join
My long term relationship that we both thought was for life is imploding right now, and it’s not even because of anything new and recent, it’s because we finally figured out some unhealthy dynamics got set years ago when we were in worse situations in life and dealing with crises and now that we’re looking at it it’s just unbearable. A lot is my fault, some is their's, but in another way it's neither of our faults, it's just an unavoidable tragedy. It's so depressing to confront how we both were utterly set up to fail in this (or any) relationship by the combined forces of capitalism, systemic racism, and systemic patriarchy. I don't want this to sound like a cop-out, I don't want to say "oh my difficulties with emotions and relationships are not my fault because the systems did this to me and I bear no blame," I can see clearly (now, when it’s too late to prevent them) the mistakes I made. But it's incredibly frustrating and heartbreaking that when they were happening I couldn't have done anything else because of how I was malformed by all the trauma of living in the belly of a racist, murderous empire surrounded by toxic hateful racist monsters. At every step of the way we've been trying our very best (I've been doing therapy for years, and they tried but they just couldn't find a therapist who wasn’t a capitalist radfem shitlib that would gaslight them and do more harm than good), but at every step for years and years and years the traumas carved into us from early childhood through adulthood sabotaged our efforts. They ask, "why did you do X horrible thing when we needed you to do Z?" and when I examine it it's genuinely just because of how the racist fabric of America destroyed my family and destroyed me to the point that X was all I was capable of doing in those times of stress. I didn't get to have a safe environment in which to grow up healthily -- I had a fucking nightmare forced upon me when I was just a little kid and it broke me, just more subtly than it broke my other family members. But it broke me nonetheless. I ask them "why did you do Y when we needed you to do Z?" and when they examine it it's because of how abuse at the hands of the toxic patriarchical fabric of America starting from a very young age carved such deep liabilities and weaknesses into them that they couldn't be healthier. And then our traumas intersected in bad ways. If just one of us hadn't had our fatal weaknesses, we could have maybe helped the other. But with both of us having them, our attempts to help each other actually led us to fall into unhealthy dynamics instead and now the traumatic memories of those dynamics make it -- I think -- impossible to move forward and heal together.
Even with this understanding, even with these big breakthroughs, it may be too late. I think it very likely is even though we desperately want it to not be too late. They said "I don't want us to have to split up. It would be a horrible tragedy. It should be a simple choice: We love each other and didn't mean to do harm, now that we understand what went wrong and how the systems did this to us it should be obvious that we just stay together and fix things together. The reason it's not simple for me is that everything's been so traumatic I don't know if it's possible, healthy, or even ethical for us to try to stay together and fix things together."
And I get that, I really do. It’s not a cop-out, it’s true. So much traumatic shit has happened that I can't humanely and ethically ask them to stay. Asking is pointless anyway -- they already want to stay and make it better, it's just a question of whether that's even possible or healthy for them to try to do, or if too much harm has been done. It's not a decision to be made, it's a yes/no fact that has to be uncovered and then whatever that fact is, we’ll have to deal with it even if we hate it.
I'm so tired of living in the aftermath of being broken by the system. I'm so tired of living with the harms still perpetuating, still ruining my life and destroying any chances I think I have at happiness. I’m tired of causing harm to the people I love — I want to give love, joy, safety, health, and nurturing to my loved ones but instead I’ve brought pain and suffering. I don't even want to fight back or strike against systemic oppression anymore because I’m so broken and exhausted. To keep going is too painful. Even if now I manage to fix some of the shit that was done to me, it will always have destroyed the most important relationship I’ve ever had and robbed us of our life together. I’ll always have to live in the aftermath of that loss, and the loss will never go away. Every moment I exist hurts too much already and it looks like it’s just going to get worse from here on out. I've been through loss and grief enough times before and I know that it doesn't really get better even with therapy, it just makes the next one worse and the next one after that even worse. I thought I'd escaped that cycle finally; now that I know I haven't, that I can't, that this path was set for me before I even hit puberty, I just want to sleep forever. Let me fucking rest. Life is torture and I don't get why people who say they love me want me to keep being tortured. I have to endure, for now, I have responsibilities and it’s uncertain how things will shake out. My beloved has asked me not to give up and so, on the off chance that somehow things work out, I have to keep going for now. But I see nothing but torment ahead and I resent the loved ones who need me to stay alive for making me suffer the torture of existence instead of finally finding the peace I so desperately need.
What a cruel, pointless life. It's inhumane to do this to people. It's inhumane to make kids deal with systemic trauma that just breaks them and turns them into broken adults. I wish my parents hadn't emigrated to America, but they couldn't have predicted what the global war on terror would have done. Maybe if they'd stayed in their birth country we'd have been killed by it anyway, though it’s enough on the periphery of the battlegrounds so far that maybe not. Sometimes I think maybe being killed by it would have been preferable to being trapped in this broken life I've lived anyway. I look at pictures of me when I was a kid before the cataclysmic harms were done to us, and I look at pictures of me after, and it's stark how visibly dead inside I've been since.
I hope reincarnation is real. This life has been a tragedy and a waste. I want a do-over. I’m incapable of believing in anything so spiritual or metaphysical though so I don’t even get that fiction as solace.
I envy white people here, at least the ones with semi-healthy families (unlike my poor, traumatized partner). For all that there's something so fucked up and fundamentally wrong with many of those white folks, they seem happier. They have their own traumas to be sure, but they don’t have the trauma that comes from being nonwhite in this KKK society and right now, looking at how that racial trauma has destroyed my life, I envy them for not having been brutalized that way.
LMAO get fucked, genocidaires. I'm so glad the ghouls who embraced Dick Cheney lost
Downballot Dems told me not to vote for them by either explicitly supporting genocide or being silent on genocide.
I'd be vegan for ideological reasons but I think with my dietary restrictions and issues it'd kill me.
I too believe the fascists should lose, that's why I voted third party instead of staying home
If everyone on the ballot supports genocide or is silent about genocide, then there's nobody to vote for and the decision is made for you.
If anyone on the ballot denounces the genocide in Palestine and their record backs the denunciation up, then you should vote for them.
None of my local Dems said anything against the genocide so I didn't vote for Dems down-ballot either.
Tlaib is the only member of the so-called far-left "Squad" that has not endorsed Harris. The other three members — U.S. Reps. Ayanna Pressley from Massachusetts, Ilhan Omar of Minnesota and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York — endorsed Harris in July after Biden announced he was dropping out of the race.
I missed that Ilhan had endorsed Kdolf Hitler, very disappointing.
Based. I voted Green right before the VP said dumb shit about China and trans people so kinda regret voting Green over PSL now, but I also wrote in revolutionary slogans for every other position so they couldn't fill them in for me.
The Democratic Party is for Nazis, I'll give carve-outs to Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib for being against the genocide but everyone else supports the genocide and is therefore a Nazi.
Really all it would have taken for me to vote Dem down-ballot was a condemnation of the Party for doing Nazi shit in Palestine. That's not a huge ask. But every Dem on my ballot was either too chickenshit to take a public stance or their public stance is "more genocide please" so of course I don't want them to win either.
There was some bad personal loss during lockdown, but I still miss lockdown so bad. I desperately needed the break from work and having the bonus unemployment actually cover shit instead of how unemployment normally is was gave me time to heal some from years of overwork and burnout.
But they'll never do it again. Even if H5N1 takes off they won't do anything like that again
Would you support him banning AmeriKKKan and Isn'treali developers too, given that their countries' war crimes are far grander in scale, horror, and devastation than Russia's?
They really did. It's been disheartening, alienating, and frightening to watch. I can't be friends with these people anymore, who don't care about genocide, so there go a lot of people I befriended in school.
fantastic