Introduction

This journey is dedicated to the tremendous healing, vitality, creativity, and passion embodied in queer people. It is a journey of self-discovery for people who believe life beyond the cishet norm is a cause for celebration! You are beautiful. You are worthy of love and no matter how alienated and oppressed we are by capitalism, we have the duty to give it to ourselves. Queer self-love is resistance to capitalism.

This group is a guided journaling practice for queer people to work towards self-acceptance, self-understanding and empowerment to live openly. I intend to explore my gender identity, but this group is open to cis people looking for greater security in non-heterosexual sexuality. The framework is loosely adapted from the book 'Gay Spirit Warrior' by John R. Stowe. Pacing and overall structure is at the discretion of the group!

Each week (or bi-weekly if slower feels better), I will post a journaling exercise and some of the framing freely adapted from the text. This might be similar to group therapy but with more of an emphasis on personal reflective work. Below is an example of one of the prompts and framing prose to give folks an idea of what this looks like!

I will try to post one journaling prompt and the accompanying exercises from the book each week as long as it feels worthwhile & I have energy.

Please feel free to discuss the overall structure of this group AND the initial journal prompt spoilered below

Tentative Structure

spoiler
  1. Map the Territory: Goals & Challenges
  2. Early Beliefs: Impact & Overcoming
  3. Gender/Sexuality: Developing an Empowered Ideal
  4. The Body: Tuning In & Taking Care
  5. The World: What is 'Out' for me?
  6. Affirming Love

There is a lot of the Jungian Archetype, and spirituality stuff left out to keep a realistic commitment. If folks are interested, I can transcribe the complete list of 14 chapters and exercises.

Week One: Beginnings

[cw: abstract discussion of homophobia & transphobia]

spoiler

For queer people, the journey to empowerment has two stages. Initially, we must create safe space to heal whatever wounding we carry from life in patriarchal society, to liberate ourselves from internalized transphobia and internalized homophobia. As we break our chains, the second stage begins: the realization of self-actualization. It entails learning to define yourself on your own terms and exploring your passion for life in every way. As queer, you claim the power to make your life an ongoing adventure of discovery and fulfillment.

As revolutionary anti-capitalists, we struggle to bring a new world out of the ashes of the old. Part of that pursuit is individual liberation from anti-trans and anti-gay ideology. I have a vision of a radiant, loving, beautiful person secure in their gender and sexuality, able to survive in a transphobic, homophobic world. I want to embody that vision; I want all of my comrades to embody that vision!

Almost every one of us is carries scars inflicted by society's homophobia, transphobia, fear of genuine pleasure, and fear of difference. Whether it was the casual reactionary attitudes of families and peers, or direct experiences of bigotry many of us have incorrect attitudes instilled in us.

In order to survive, many of us became chameleons to blend into the harsh background of our 'correct' gendered behavior. We learned to hide or modulate our true selves. We learned to doubt or fear our natural desires of love and intimacy, to embody our true selves and genders. We internalized the queerphobia directed at us until we came to feel flawed, defensive, or unworthy. Our authentic selves became shackled.

Overcoming queerphobia is a journey of opening and transformation. We'll approach it step-by-step gently & compassionately examining the sources, content, and ongoing consequences of our own wounding. Understanding is a powerful tool in overcoming. Ultimately, our wounds will form a map to trace backward and inward to the core of our being where we will begin to build a positive ideal of queer identity.

**Let's begin making that vision real by first mapping our starting point: our goals and our challenges. **

Exercise: Goals and Challenges

The first thing we're going to do is to choose a destination. It's important to know where you want to go in order to get the ball rolling. Even if you change your mind and decide halfway to Yanan you decide to spend a month in Sichuan, keeping a destination in mind gives you an important sense of direction. As you gain clarity, you can refine or rewrite goals that don't make sense anymore!

Make a list titled 'CHALLENGES' and freely write problems, issues, or concerns you have that feel related to your gender or sexual identity. Be honest with yourself! Until you choose to share it, no one gon know what's on there. What's bugging you? What's not working right now? What do you not like about how you are living your life right now?

Make a second list titled 'GOALS'. Make each statement in this list a positive statement of something you would like to create in your life. "I choose to make friends with people I can be open with." "I'd like to work somewhere I can be publicly out."

Write whatever is important to you. Be sure to include each statement in "CHALLENGES" reworded as a positive goal. For example if you have the challenge "feeling isolated" you could have the positive goal "create meaningful relationships with other people."

Conclusion

Daring to embrace your queerness is an act of radical audacity! Setting out on this quest of empowerment is exciting. I am excited to be here with you comrades.

Expect to be triumphant on this quest. But some considerations: this is a physical process! It takes real work and energy to liberate yourself of negative beliefs. Dealing with trauma can cause sommatic and emotional reactions. Honor any requests your body makes for additional rest, breaks, or attention.

Dare to struggle, dare to win! Queer liberation now!

Optional: Support

Come up with a list of ten soothing or self-care activities you can do or prioritize during this process as you spend extra energy on building your self comprehension and liberation.

In the spirit of TC_69, I love my trans comrades! trans-heart

  • Ananasova [she/her]
    ·
    5 months ago
    Challenges
    • gender dysphoria
    • not having enough energy and will to work and study because of gender dysphoria
    • being in closet IRL (except for local meetings with other trans people)
    • being awkard and shy in local meetings with other trans people
    • living with parents with whom i am not out to, not being able to afford my own living space
    • living in country with anti-LGBTQ laws
    • not being on HRT
    • not being able to change legal gender
    • regretting that i could start transition earlier when the circumsances were more pleasant but didn't because i am a coward
    • having pessimistic thoughts about my future
    • keeping my negative feelings inside myself, being afraid to talk with my friends (who know that i am trans) about these feelings, not wanting to be annoying and make friends sad
    • procrastination
    Goals
    • start HRT (some steps in this direction has been done already!)
    • wear pretty makeup and clothes
    • voice training everyday
    • don't forget that i am a woman no matter what
    • try to talk with my friends about my problems, ask if they are ready to listen to them
    • journaling my problems (this text is basically part of it but i think i might get my personal journal as well where i can write in more details and about more private topics)
    • keep working on relationships with local trans group, keep going to their meetings, be more active in their online chat
    • come out to my brother, i think among everyone in my family he is most likely to accept me, also he lives separetely from our parents so i could potentially move to him
    • try to picture a bright future
    • accept my past, learn from my mistakes, do not overanalyse it
    • make a list of potential countries that i might move to
    • try to optimise my work and study schedule, don't be too stressed about them, consider finding new workplace
    • try something new like drawning or writing a story to express my feelings, ditract myself from negative thoughts and bring something new in my life
    • make a small steps but consistently to avoid procrastination
    • bubbalu [they/them]
      hexagon
      ·
      5 months ago

      regretting that i could start transition earlier when the circumsances were more pleasant but didn't because i am a coward

      This one really resonates with my feelings too. My thought is that what ever thoughts are feelings that are holding you back now were active then too, and you had even less understanding and resolve than you do now. So it's not that you 'missed your shot' its that your shot wasn't during that point in time. The kindest gift you can give yourself now is understanding for that younger you and to fulfill her dreams in the here-and-now. The best time to start was ten years ago but the next best time is now.