No better way to spend a 4 day weekend in the summer than drinking a margarita on the porch of some place called "Captain Smelly Balls Nasty Crab Bucket Shack" while listening to a terrible ZZ Tops cover band.
This is like the one good element of American Culture and it should be preserved.
Sorry the winter is getting to me a little.
We'll fence off the beach towns and charge bread stamps to visit it like some kind of fucked up safari adventure where you're not allowed to leave the car cause you'll get stabbed by a stray Florida man.