It's a question I've constantly wrestled with in my head, Disco Elysium didn't help with this with jokes like being a fascist cause your gut told you to.
Part of me thinks there is an interplay in the way philosophy might affect your personality, and personality affects your philosophical beliefs. How do you wrestle with that?
Why your other self is a full blow existentialist and gets all the ladies/fells and does all the drugs.