HAVANA (AP) — After being declared medically deceased for 4 months, former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger has made a miraculous reappearance. The statesman was secretly flown to Cuba via private plane while on life support in late November to undergo an innovative heart-repairing surgical procedure.

"I feel like I could go on another 50 years" said the centenarian, crediting "the best damn doctors in the world" for his unprecedented recovery while criticizing the "authoritarian government that forces these talented medical professionals to live in such deplorable conditions."