I'm going to fucking break. I can't keep up functioning like a normal person. It's an endless cycle of overextending myself, crashing and painfully getting back up. Everything I do towards making myself and my life better takes away so much energy that I stall and crash. For every step forward, it seems like I take two backwards. And the worst thing is that people don't understand. It's a cycle of extreme stress that I don't want to keep enduring, it keeps fucking coming, I'm like constantly behind. It never stops.
Sorry for the rant, I needed to vent somewhere into the void.
The cycle of “overextend, crash, fall behind, overextend to catch up, repeat” is so familiar. It’s gotten easier to manage as I’ve gotten older, but it‘s a struggle. Be kind to yourself, and do what you can to avoid the need to conform to other people’s expectations. Easier said than done, but I find it helpful to remind myself that I don’t need to put on a show for everyone on top of everything else.