I've only been on this website for a short time so I know this looks sus im not trying to start arguments or something im just uncomfortable with something ive been seeing

ive been looking around and seeing things in posts and i would like to say that many of them make me very uncomfortable it is very common to see posts/topics idk that seem to be kind of glorifying revenge and hurting people disproportionately hatred for bourgoisie is justified but the people talking about and detailing torture make me really uncomfortable (saying things like detailing cruel and unusual punishments) because i have a hard time not involuntarily putting myself into the shoes of others even when they have nothing in common with me

ive been trying to tolerate it because i assumed this was part of what "dirtbag left" meant, being unapologetic and willing to advocate for things that are unappealing and not "civil" so become confused when people brought up the dumb will smith incident because it was just a slap, barely anything but lots of people seem to disapprove of it for being childish and immature i understand this viewpoint but i dont get why these two exist simultaneously i was starting to see the appeal of simply just advocating for "fuck around and find out" violence against the bourgoisie and nazis and obvious bigots but when the same principle is applied to others who are making ableist jokes it's bad

it comes across as people only caring and advocating for violence against people that affect them personally, and not people who affect others negatively i dont care about will smith (rich jerk) but i don't understand how that doesn't apply to me. why are people advocating for violence in ways that are arguably justifiable but make people uncomfortable just talking about them, but if i were to hit someone for making fun of me stimming or something that would be bad?

was all of the wall/torture/grenade pit stuff sarcastic or is the stance that its only ok to commit violence against people that affect the entire proletariat instead of just a part? (i know will smith probably isn't part of the proletariat i just don't understand how him being in the wrong doesn't also translate to proletariat members hitting people for making fun of them and family members and their own conditions)

i also don't know how to feel because a lot of the time it's very hard to control things that are considered violent actions i understand that as a general principle i should avoid them but in a situation like with the will smith thing (lots of people, someone making fun of someone i care about , probably lots of stress because award ceremony) i could see some kind of meltdown happening and me flipping out or doing something a lot worse, i know that's bad, and i avoid doing things like that but also lots of people have conditions that make that more likely so i have a hard time not sympthaziing. i also don't understand why making fun of someone to the point of self-harm or emotional harm is ok but hitting them isnt,, and in a world where nobody seems to care enough to actually help deescalate (and usually takes the side of harassers if they're "funny" enough) what else your even supposed to do? nobody taught me this and i wish they did