Trump Sr and Trump Jr both run, go after each other the hardest until we get Sr saying "I've always been disappointed in you" to his son on live TV
MTG runs explicitly on doing Qanon stuff and wins in a landslide
Rubio comes back for some reason
DeSantis short circuits and reveals his terminator form during the debate
MTG runs with Tulsi Gabbard as her running mate. Entire campaign is about talking about “the equality agenda” and how it’s destroying America and gain grounds on a “what about women supporting women” message.
Dems, being Dems, run Kamala who doesn’t speak once for herself for fear of implosion.
In this scenario Biden and Trump both died in a push up competition