The wheel, the steam engine, the lightbulb, the aeroplane.
Marvels of engineering to be sure, but all were put to shame when Otto Frederick Rohwedder (blessed be his name) invented the first single loaf bread-slicing machine.
No longer would man suffer the long indignity of having to slice their own bread!
It proved instantly influential and in a few short years 80% of the bread sold in the United States was sliced!

Unfortunately, like all true visionary undertakings, the forces of reactions would soon emerge in a vain attempt to halt man's progress and in XV Annus Panis Nostri Quod Est Divisa a ban would be placed on the product.
U.S. officials cited "war time conservation measured" but the brave people of the land quickly rose up in outcry and the ban was rescinded.

Today people from all around the world are free and able to enjoy the bounty of bread that is already sliced.


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  • Wheaties [she/her]
    ·
    2 years ago

    I've noticed that in a lot of liberal arguments, imperialism is always a verb. It's something that a country does, and it can distance itself from the descriptor by simply 'stopping'. As in, "Joe Biden stopped American Imperialism in Afghanistan" or "how can we be imperialist when we keep loosing conflicts?" as though you make an Imperialism Check to see if you get to 'do' an Imperialism. "Putin is doing an Imperialism right this moment! Why are you talking about things that happened ten or twenty or thirty years ago?"

    They talk about imperialism without ever saying the word Empire. It's like talking about bricklaying without ever acknowledging a house has been made. We've done imperialism - but that was in the past. To suggest the endeavor has changed us, that the verb 'imperialism' ends in the noun 'empire' is simply not thought.