So I was thinking we could take the opportunity to maybe counter the negativity by talking about things we like about ourselves or good vibes about femininity in general. Just trying to bring some positivity. :comfy:
Would prefer to keep comments on the womenby side of the gender spectrum.
Personally, I noticed that I don't cringe as often when I look in the mirror anymore. So, that's a start! I feel like I'm trying harder at life now than I ever have, and it's making a neat little feedback loop where the results of working on myself gives me the energy to do more. Among things I'm working on is being able to empathize with people, including people who aren't like me. And I think getting to experience being someone different really helped me to internalize the humanity in others. So yeah...just doing my best.
Looking forward to seeing what people have to say!
As a trans woman who transitioned well into adulthood, at 6'6" with terrible posture, and with a host of other things I disliked (often because they seemed mannish, but sometimes just generally), I was basically unilaterally negative about my appearance at all times.
Starting hormones did help, and I had a lot of good experiences dressing up and doing makeup and such since then, but this was mostly countered by being more preoccupatied with it. Even if I could have the odd day where I was like hey I felt pretty cute, it was quickly overpowered by how ugly I felt on almost every other day.
Lately, though, I've started feeling pretty good about my body! Why? Because I started getting laid regularly!!
The way I can consistently turn my partner on, the excitement he has about different parts of my body, it's really helped me see myself through his eyes. Nowadays I notice certain features of myself in the mirror and I'm like, hey, not bad!
This is a great feeling, but it's almost disheartening... It doesn't feel like an actual solution to my body issues, but instead a different positive feeling that can overwhelm it. And what happens if we stop sleeping together? I don't like relying on someone else for an aspect of my self-image like this.
So... It is what it is. I take some solace that this more positive view, even if I haven't internalized it, is probably more "accurate" than my very distorted negative self-image. It's not like I'm deluding myself, I'm just finally seeing myself more like other people see me.
Feeling "hot" and "sexy", even just for your partner, is a really wonderful feeling, and I hope everyone gets to experience it someday.
This is a good perspective. I'm happy you're doing well and trying to thrive. Learning to see yourself the way the people who love you do is hard but worth it. Hope you continue to make progress! :meow-hug:
I will say that in my experience, beginning to have sex in the new transfem fit after a certain point of hormones just kind of permanently flipped a switch that says "my body is sexy and hot". I'm not having sex regularly at the moment but I'm still capable of feeling like hot stuff when I look at parts of me that would have made me cringe four years ago
Also I have to say at a certain point it became addicting to be taller than most of the other women I was interested in so 🥵 6'6"
Lmao, I can imagine the "step on me" comments from people not posting on volcel sites.
We stan a community capable of keeping it in their pants