So I was thinking we could take the opportunity to maybe counter the negativity by talking about things we like about ourselves or good vibes about femininity in general. Just trying to bring some positivity. :comfy:
Would prefer to keep comments on the womenby side of the gender spectrum.
Personally, I noticed that I don't cringe as often when I look in the mirror anymore. So, that's a start! I feel like I'm trying harder at life now than I ever have, and it's making a neat little feedback loop where the results of working on myself gives me the energy to do more. Among things I'm working on is being able to empathize with people, including people who aren't like me. And I think getting to experience being someone different really helped me to internalize the humanity in others. So yeah...just doing my best.
Looking forward to seeing what people have to say!
As a trans woman who transitioned well into adulthood, at 6'6" with terrible posture, and with a host of other things I disliked (often because they seemed mannish, but sometimes just generally), I was basically unilaterally negative about my appearance at all times.
Starting hormones did help, and I had a lot of good experiences dressing up and doing makeup and such since then, but this was mostly countered by being more preoccupatied with it. Even if I could have the odd day where I was like hey I felt pretty cute, it was quickly overpowered by how ugly I felt on almost every other day.
Lately, though, I've started feeling pretty good about my body! Why? Because I started getting laid regularly!!
The way I can consistently turn my partner on, the excitement he has about different parts of my body, it's really helped me see myself through his eyes. Nowadays I notice certain features of myself in the mirror and I'm like, hey, not bad!
This is a great feeling, but it's almost disheartening... It doesn't feel like an actual solution to my body issues, but instead a different positive feeling that can overwhelm it. And what happens if we stop sleeping together? I don't like relying on someone else for an aspect of my self-image like this.
So... It is what it is. I take some solace that this more positive view, even if I haven't internalized it, is probably more "accurate" than my very distorted negative self-image. It's not like I'm deluding myself, I'm just finally seeing myself more like other people see me.
Feeling "hot" and "sexy", even just for your partner, is a really wonderful feeling, and I hope everyone gets to experience it someday.
This is a good perspective. I'm happy you're doing well and trying to thrive. Learning to see yourself the way the people who love you do is hard but worth it. Hope you continue to make progress! :meow-hug:
I will say that in my experience, beginning to have sex in the new transfem fit after a certain point of hormones just kind of permanently flipped a switch that says "my body is sexy and hot". I'm not having sex regularly at the moment but I'm still capable of feeling like hot stuff when I look at parts of me that would have made me cringe four years ago
Also I have to say at a certain point it became addicting to be taller than most of the other women I was interested in so 🥵 6'6"
Lmao, I can imagine the "step on me" comments from people not posting on volcel sites.
Currently waiting on the clinic to stop fondling themselves for long enough to decide that - Yes, I'm actually a woman and my life would improve immeasurably by allowing me to buy hormones, but I did come out to the family and having people see and treat you as a woman helps a lot.
Also I was on hormones for nine months previously which left me with an ass and thicc thighs, so it's not all bad. I can look myself in the mirror and actually see myself, instead of a meat-puppet that I wheel around in, now. :trans-specter:
That's great that you've gotten people on board! Hormones really do be making big changes. I hope you can get back on them. Personally I don't like the way T feels in my brain but E is like magic anti-depressants.
I will be getting back on the hormones whether the clinic wants me to or not :meow-knife-trans:.
But yeah, loved how calm and happy E made me feel while also my making my skin absolutely fabulous. It's some magic for sure.
Best I can do:
:anarchist-occult:
The devil is gender neutral when you think about it.
yeah the feeling of looking at yourself and seeing a hunk of flesh and not you is incredibly disconcerting
I've started doing the whole listen to my body thing and stop trying to follow all health advice that's built around the circadian cycle and started following the ones that are tailored to the menstrual cycle and it is actually life changing. I thought I was just a failure this whole time but like nah my body wasn't built for that
I didn’t even know there was like, specific health advice tailored to the menstrual cycle. Now I’m wondering if I’m having suboptimal periods or something, lol
Lol it's not actually about improving your periods is about using your periods to improve your health. So like during certain phases doing light exercise is better (and strength training will actually be useless) whereas during others you could be strength training everyday with no rest days. The point is that the traditional advice of having a regular workout routine with rest days that you follow every week doesn't make sense for menstruating bodies
interesting
whats the suggestion for the phase that you bloat in. im trans and stuff and just bloat once a month for a couple days, pretty much like clockwork :thinkin-lenin:
Probably linked to higher estrogen build up which is when intense exercise won't do much. Just do light stuff then.
I stopped shaving my legs several years ago, and it’s been great! For the first year or so, I was anxious as hell whenever I’d wear shorts (ingrained pressure to be “pretty” and “acceptable” is a beast), but nobody has ever pointed it out or given a shit (besides my own mom, lol, but she dropped it pretty fast when I made it clear I wasn’t interested in changing). It’s so freeing not to shave! So much time saved, and I get a good amount of gender euphoria from it too.
