This is true, but being able to air out trauma in an unfiltered way is still important. Victimized people shouldn't be held back by "not all men" or "not all white dudes" or "not all cishets" concerns for civility, they should be allowed to vent their grievances freely when they need to.

I understand that for men, particularly white men, other intersections like neurodivergence, ability and especially class often get overlooked (not to mention that this often coincides with the erasure of trans men and masc-presenting NBs), which leads to struggling white boys being left alone during the time when they're most needing of help, most exploited, most destitute etc. and that's a legitimate problem that we as a leftist movement have to adress.

But adressing these needs cannot come at the expense of tone policing women.

I could also make valid criticisms of @kristina 's post arguing in a gender essentialist way (and i can already say with 100% certainty that this is not what she intended) - as a trans woman, i am very, very aware that toxic masculinity is not tied to sex or gender, but is imposed on people, beginning with the moment they're assigned male, and that this imposition can be fully reversible, that you can completely recover from society trying to make you a man against your will. Likewise, all men are not born men, they are made men, and their toxic traits, whether merely aggravating and annoying or outright dangerous to their fellow human beings and the planet as a whole are not an immutable fate, but the result of the material conditions and the patriarchal superstructure they grow up under. "Men are inherently, essentially bad" is a TERFoid position that is idealist and intellectually indefensible.

That doesn't change the fact that a much, much, much too large number of men have ended up so bad that they are beyond repair - understanding that we are all products of our environment doesn't excuse destructive behavior, it merely explains it. This also doesn't change the fact that women need great leeway in airing their grievances. This should only be curbed when marginalized groups are caught in the crossfire. It also doesn't change that even though men can be marginalized, they are never marginalized for being men. They may be harmed by being men, but that harm comes from being shoehorned into the violently oppressive role our society has for them. It is damage incurred from being enticed to harm others. Healing it starts with confronting the destructive nature of what it means to be a man in our society, and you cannot fully do that if you retreat to the safety of "not all men".

well you literally did say it. what do you expect me to do? agree that im not acting 'human'?

i do agree that if you vent trauma to other victims, that can lead to a cascade. once i realized the giant pushback i was getting from a vent post that i figured socialists would largely agree with, I tagged this nsfw as a content warning so that other victims didnt have to interact with this garbage heap of male condescension and concern trolling