I don't want to give too many details so as to avoid doxing myself. I never left the US and wouldn't have done so if asked, but fundamentally, I don't think that really matters. It's all part of the same machine. It was well before I became anything that could be described as communist, but all that means is that it hit that much harder when I had to come to terms with what I'd been a part of.
Maybe that's the sort of thing you can't ever make up for, but I'll spend the rest of my life trying anyway. If anyone on this site never wants anything to do with me again after having read this, I understand.
while I understand the hostility people show towards the direct actors of the will of empire, I don't understand why so many leftists act surprised that we give people front row seats to imperial violence and then act shocked when all of the propaganda can't cover up the shock and horror of what they're actually doing. For every Aaron Bushnell out there who went as far as self immolation, there must be at least 10,000 more people serving empire who are at least in doubt of what they're doing. If someone wants to hit the "switch teams" button, I say welcome them in. I can't imagine what that level of guilt must feel like, but if they're willing to join the left, they've already done quite a bit of growth already